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Sunday, December 19, 2010

The girl

In life, there's always times when you feel down, giving up and just don't wanna think about anything. I guess it is normal. Sometimes, I hope that people can understand me better, can read my mind and my heart so that they will not misunderstood me. Hope is such a big word for me. Since I was a little girl, hope is the burden I've been carried around with me until now. Failure is my enemy, in whatever I do, I must be among the best. It is like a repeated tape playing in my head over and over again.


But sometimes, at a time, it is just too much. If I fail, let me fail. I'll fight back. I'm not a loser. I don't give up. That's what I've been trained all this while. The only thing that can stop me moving forward is myself. It's hard to struggle with yourself everyday. It's like a fight that sometimes tired me and makes me feel that everything is just so worthless. I hope you'll understand what I feel, the burden in me, the pressure I've been holding all this while.


I'll finish what I started but please understand me. I'll decide for myself what I'll do in the future. It's time for me to take the responsibilities for what I did. Maybe I'm wrong but let me learn from my mistakes, it's a part of my journey of growing up. I might not be the best but I know that giving up is not gonna solve anything. I will not and I'll move forward.


You'll be proud, I promise you that but in the meantime let me be the 22 years old girl I always want to be. This girl of yours will not let you down. Trust me.