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Sunday, August 30, 2009

creature named HUMAN~

Ade bnda yg jadi baru2 ni, wat aku sedar yg manusia ni mmg la ternyata xbleh mudah dipercayai. Ada yg berpura2 baik, dpan kita pijak semut pun xmati tp blakang kita, pijak gajah pun bleh mati...
Tp xbleh nk salahkn org jgk, kdg2 kita pun ade slh tp kita xnmpak tp kat sini la nk tgk ego manusia tu mcm mna. Kalau dh tau slh, pe salahnya kalo mntak maaf, xkn jatuh hrga diri kita kalo takat nk ckp maaf.

Tp ni la satu sifat manusia xphm...aku xtuju kat sapa2, ni juz luahan perasaan aku sndiri. Semua org ada ego, aku phm tu tp kdg2 bgus kalau kita kurangkn ego tu sikit, xkemana ego tu bleh bwk kita. Ok, tu part ego....satu lg aku xphm manusia ni, byk sgt yg bermuka2. Kalo aku citer sumthing, pya la baik giler ayat ckp ngan aku. Tp rupanya blakang kita, bwk mulut. Pantang aku jmpa manusia cmni, rasa cm aku nk penggal je sorang2.

Manusia, especially yg lain jantina ngan kita, ssh nk nmpak pe yg kita nmpak kat kaum sndiri. Lelaki mmg suka judge org luaran, pantang prmpuan tu nmpak cm lembut, sweet, innocent, ala2 prmpuan melayu trakhir, msti dia tu btol2 baik, xwat salah....damn la weh, it's all juz acting, we're good at it. Sometimes, org yg ko nmpak mcm jahat tu xde la baik pun, tp at least xla sejahat yg kita sngka. Better dr org yg bermuka2 ni, nk berlakon biar org anggap diri tu baik.

Jd kadang2 xtau dh nk prcaya kat sapa, kwn2 pun kdg2 nma je kwn baik, rpat but never be there when you need them. I'm not sure who is trully a good fren....

For those out there, pkir la sndiri korang ni trgolong dlm org mcm ni ke x k, kalau ade tu, ubah la diri tu, kita idup kat dunia ni bkn sorang2, ade kwn2 yg kna jaga ati, jgn asyik ikot pala sendiri je. Don't underestimate the power of "sorry" bacause it is one meaningful word if you're sincere, dat's true if sorry can settle everything, who needs cop but sometimes it's ourselves who make things worse.

Jd sama2 la kita ubah diri masing2, jd yg lebih baik....katak pun dh xduduk bwh tempurung xkan la kita ni pun xnk berubah. Renung2kn dan selamat beramal~

Thursday, August 27, 2009

::....Islam, Ad-Deen....the way of life....::

Actually aku sndiri xtau mcm mna tetiba aku trgerak hati nk cri video pasal Islam kat youtube, mybe terasa juz nk tgk pe yg ada, I noe there will be like thousands of comments bout Islam, from ppl who dun believe in it.....harsh comments I would say but who can blame them??? Even a Muslim like me have a very shallow understanding bout my own religion. But this one video really wake my sense up, it's fun to watch...bout an Aussie who turns to Islam and he told bout his experience and it makes me cry suddenly....

video

Aku tulis bnda ni bkn nk jdi pendakwah pun, bkn nk tunjuk baik or anything, I'm not good enough to be one, it's juz dat I wanna share my own thoughts, revising myself....I believe in God, Allah...my Almighty creator, the most Merciful of all but aku tau aku xbuat pe yg sbnrnya ajaran Islam, I called myself a Muslim but I even hardly pray 5 times a day, the pillars in Islam, basics yg even budak 7 tahun tau buat. Something simple yet been ignored by me. nak wat bnda lain??

Lagi la ssh kot, nak stay pkai tudung pun lambat, asyik nk free hair je. Juz saying syahadah is not enough...mslhnya kdg2 manusia mcm kita yg celik mata je mmg dh Islam ni xprnah nk cri apa sbnrnya Islam ni, yg tau...mak suruh bca g ngaji, bca ayat2 arab, dh khatam sudah la, xbukak dh Quran tu lepas dh khatam. It becomes routine rather than a must, tu mslhnya sbnrnya.


Xpyh cri jauh2, look at myself pun aku dh tau...I think I'm much better wktu aku kecik2 dlu, aku igt lg, sakit2 pun aku solat gak tp bila makin besar, solat ke mana, apa ke mana. Aku share bnda ni dlm blog so that sapa yg baca boleh sma2 igtkn diri masing2, bukan aku nk bukak pekung di dada tp kalau ini pengalaman yg aku nk share supaya aku xlupa. Jadi Islam xckup kalau takat dlm IC, kalau takat mak bapak Islam, bin dan binti Islam tp penghayatan yg kdg2 rmai yg terlupa. Aku xslhkan sesiapa pun, bkn salah mak ayah aku, diorang dh ajar aku agama bg ckup tp bila makin besar, makin degil. Bila trpikir pasal ajal, ngeri la jgk. Yelah, aku tau azab dlm kubur, azab akhirat lg la xtrbayang tp kdg2 takut tu kejap je. Sbb kita xrasa lg mcm mna, jd cepat lupa diri.

Org yg lahir sbg bukan Islam, boleh pulak lebih tau pasal Islam dr org mcm aku ni yg "Islam borne". Aku kagum ngan org yg btol2 leh ikut ajaran Islam, applied in daily life routine. Petunjuk xdtng kalo x dicari, bila difikirkan blk...org yg bkn Islam yg msuk Islam ni, diorang bkn masuk Islam overnight. Ade yg kaji Islam ni smpai bertahun2 bru masuk Islam. Mcm tu pya effort diorang dlm memahami Islam compare dgn...xyah ckp org lain la, aku sndiri pun dh ckup.

Keagungan Al-Quran dh dibuktikan oleh rmai cerdik pandai and mostly diorang ni bkn cerdik pandai Islam pun tp diorang percaya Al-Quran ni mmg bukan sebarangan kitab, rahsia yg ada dlm Al-Quran adalah sesuatu yg xmungkin dpt dikarang oleh manusia tp mmg sebenarnya ayat2 suci yg diturunkn oleh yang Maha Berkuasa, Tuhan sekalian alam, Allah s.w.t. Allahuakbar...agungnya agama suci ni, dan aku bersyukur sesungguhnya aku dilahirkn sebagai Muslim sbb aku rasa kalau aku bkn dilahirkn sbg Muslim, mungkin aku xkn pernah kenal jalan kebenaran yg mmg mnjanjikan kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat sbb bukan semua manusia dpt petunjuk dan hidayah dr Allah s.w.t. Sesungguhnya teramat la beruntung manusia yg dpt hidayahNya dan yg kembali ke pangkal jalan.


Adakah aku akan mnjadi sebahagian dr kebahagiaan tu?? InsyaAllah sesungguhnya aku percaya semua org ada peluang utk berubah dan Allah Maha Pengampun dan pintu taubatNya tak pernah trtutup utk hamba2nya yg ingin kembali. Mungkin susah utk berubah sepenuhnya dlm sekelip mata tp aku cuba berubah mnjadi yg lebih baik, sikit demi sikit.

Sempena bulan baik ni, aku berusaha sikit demi sikit utk mnjadi hambaNya yg lebih baik. Semoga ini jadi peringatan buat diriku dan jugak semua umat manusia. Semoga kita terus diberkati oleh Allah s.w.t, Tuhan Sekalian Alam. Sesungguhnya tiada Tuhan yang disembah melainkan Allah dan Nabi Muhammad s.a.w pesuruh Allah.


Ya Allah, Ya tuhanku.....Tuhan Maha Agung, Tuhan Sekalian Alam....dariMu aku datang dan kepadaMu aku kembali, sesungguhnya jgn Kau biarkan aku terus berada di dalam kesesatan, sesungguhnya azabMu yg Kau janjikan utk hamba2Mu yg mungkar teramatlah pedih dan seksa. Aku tau aku xlayak utk syurgaMu tapi aku juga xsanggup ke nerakaMu Ya Allah.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, Kau berikanlah petunjukMu kepadaku supaya aku kembali ke jalanmu. Kau berkatilah kedua ibu bapaku, berikan lah petunjuk kepada mereka serta peliharalah mereka sebagaimana mereka memeliharaku sewaktu aku kecil. Kau lindungi dan berkatilah keluargaku, sahabat2ku serta semua saudaraku muslimin dan muslimat. Semoga kami mnjadi dikalangan hambaMu yang taat dan soleh.....Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin....

other's perception...something good to know about



sometimes you juz dun realize things bout yourself till someone tell it to you...well it happen to me a lot and tonite I noe a new thing bout myself....I'm an egoistic person. Well, I never realize dat since I think I always put my ego aside but I guess they are rite. I'm very egoistic when it comes to study, I always want to be number 1, I can't stay behind someone as I sometimes tend to get suffocated. I think it is because since I was a lil kid, success in study is always my priority, it makes me happy. It's not that I want to underestimate others, it just that I'm d type of person who pressure myself on my success.

I have no problem seeing other getting more than I am coz everyone have their own advantages, effort and luck. They get what they have coz of their effort, there's something that I totally okay with. Maybe it'll drive me even more to be better and better than others and I dun noe how to change it, it's juz me.....Ppl born with their own advantages and disadvantages, well for me...I dun have the beauty like others do, but I'm faster in my learning process, that is my advantage and I thank God for that. I try very hard not to underestimate others, look down on them or compare them but maybe sometimes(ALWAYS MAYBE) I did juz dat but I really dun mean it. I have a friend who I think is so special coz she's so laidback and easy-going, happy go lucky and sometimes I really wish I can be like her. She's clumsy, paranoid but it's juz her. She has a crush on dis one guy and I think she's so classic. What I meant is, she's admire that person from far and can be very happy if dat guy juz look at her. She goes crazy if he smile at her and totally out of dis world when he helped her with something but the guy didn't know bout her feeling.....she's satisfied even juz like dat. I wish I have dat kind of feeling but I dun....I'm a straightforward person whn it comes to feeling and maybe that's what I meant by I put my ego aside. Well, everybody have their own perspective in looking at things...I'm not a very good person, I always realize that and actually I really...really wanna change to a much better person...i've tried and I will always tried to be one....~ so to all ppl that i've hurt your feelings coz of my attitude and words, I really sorry...never meant it the bad way..=P

Friday, August 21, 2009

::....welcome back RAMADHAN....::


bulan mulia....ramadhan, dh tiba lg...dptkh kehadirannya kali ni mngubah diriku???? aku sndiri pun xtau sbnrny....doa aku semestinya agar Allah memberkati diri, mnguatkan imanku yg aku sndiri tau teramat la rapuh, beri petunjuk agar aku xtrus sesat dlm dunia sementara ni. Aku mngharapkn yg terbaik utk keluarga aku...mak ayah, adik2...kadang2 trfikir jgk, kenapa dlm bulan yg mulia ni, yg aku rasa semua org dh tau kelebihan dan keagungannya...ada jgk manusia yg xbleh mngubah diri sndiri mnjadi lebih baik, xboleh mnghayati erti sebenar ramadhan, sedangkan semua syaitan yg selama ini mnyesatkn manusia telah dirantai dan dikurung. Jawapannya ada dlm diri sndiri....11bulan sebelum tibanya ramadhan, syaitan2 ni dh brjaya melatih diri kita utk trus melakukan kejahatan dan yg plg teruk, kita xsedar pun pe yg kita buat. Aku xberniat mngata sesiapa tp ini untuk muhasabah diri aku sndiri....Allah lebih mngerti siapa aku sbnrnya dan kadang2 akutersa hinanya diri sbb xprnah benar2 bertaubat ke jalannya dan insaf sedangkn aku sedar ajal maut bleh datang tiba2...jd aku mngharapkan ramadhan kali ini dpt mngubah diriku, menginsafkn aku.

Moga Allah menerima taubatku dan membuka pintu taubatnya seluas2 utk diriku yg hina ini....sesungguhnya aku sedar akan azab dan seksaannya yg menanti hamba2nya seperti diriku......Ya Allah, ya tuhanku...kau temukn aku dengan Ramadhan kali ini, aku memohon keampunan dari mu dan berikanlah petunjuk dan hidayahmu kepadaku serta kau bukakanlah pintu taubatmu utk hambamu ini walau aku tahu betapa diriku ini tidak layak akan keampunanmu tp ku sedar tanpaMu, ya tuhanku....xmungkin aku brtemu dengan Ramadhan ini...Amin....

Thursday, August 20, 2009

me...sunway...hana.....awesome!!!!! except for somethin...

hahaha.......wat am I laughing about???? nothing precise actually juz dat I went to sunway wit hana last tuesday. I'm really dyin' to watch The Proposal coz I think d story is great, I heard a review bout that movie from my fren and it sounds interesting. My other housemate definitely not intersted in going to sunway coz apparently we have to go there by means of public transport which means, d slowest transport in d world!!!!! But luckily hana went there wit me, so I guess it will be fine....it takes me one and quater hour juz to arrive at sunway pyramid. But it's all worth it. We bought ticket at 7.20 p.m that means we had a lot of time before the movie start. We went shopping for hana's bag, apparently she needs a new bag and I bought one too, for my lil sis birthday present. Then we went to karaoke, it cost us 15ringgit each but definitely worth it. The room is awesome, the sound system, the song selection and everything is juz perfect....juz one thing, we cannot sing for 3 hours since it is almost time for our movie, we a lil bit dissapointed of coz but I guess we can come back later.


The movie is great, very funny and romantic at the same time, I would say the story line is rather cliche but it is still an intersting movie to watch. Sandra Bullock is so beautiful like always and Ryan Reynolds...hmmm.....he's one hot guy, they juz make the movie even better. Everything is great but there's one guy sit besides me at the cinema who laugh like @#$$%*!^*#!!....he's spoil d mood, he laugh all d time and even at the part which we all in d cinema thinks not funny, he sounds like a p** who had something stucked in its nose, OMG I really feel like I wanna slap him and give hima a piece of my mind, wish I never met him again, especially in a cinema........

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

sorry prof....i'm such a bad student...


I know dis one very wonderful person who I always admire and I think he is such an inspiration. He tought me that the most valuable thing in the process of learning sometimes not the good grade but what have you gain in that process.....he's kinda close to me compare to other lecturer and since he's such a wonderful person, I chose him as my supervisor and finally I found out that I'm not able to finish my proposal on time and keep avoiding him, for once I had not met him for 2 weeks coz I got nothing and I'm ashamed of him....prof, I'm really sorry, I never meant to hurt you by avoiding you but the truth is, I'm afraid that you'll be dissapointed of me, I really dun wanna let you down but sometimes I find it hard to face you like dis.....

one stupid thing I do...and i'll do that for her...

ade la mmber aku sorang ni, mmg giler minat ngan faizal tahir, kira mmg obses la.....sbnrnya kadang2 agak mnyampah la gak aku ngan faizal, bkn sbb pe pun tp sbb bila ada manusia dkat aku yg trlalu obses ngan seseorang, aku jdik cm alergik ngan org yg dia obses tu. Tp sbb bila pkir blk, dia tu antara kwn baik aku, merangkap housemate aku, jd aku pun teman la dia wat keje giler ni....ni r mmber aku yg obses tu...nma dia nini...


aku teman dia g sri pentas kat plaza alam sentral utk tgk rakaman akustika raya. Mula2 pya la igt tkut2 rmai org smapi xdpt msuk, pkai bju kurung tkut nnt org xbg msuk. Tgk2 bkn takat dpt msuk, duk depan skali plak tu, malu tu hnya tuhan je yg tau sbb aku sndiri xsuka tgk org2 yg dtg rakaman cmni, rasa cm ntah pape je tp kali ni aku lak yg cmtu. Ada faizal tahir, noh hujan, lan meet uncle hussin ngan aizat....

nk dijadikn cerita, aku ni bkn la minat sgt pun artis2 ni tp aritu bru aku sedar yg noh tu cute gler....kelakar lak tu, kitorang kat situ mmg xlrt nk ketawa la tgk dia usik2 si aizat, siap nyanyi lgu liyana jasmay...hey, hey, hey, hey....aku xprcaya cinta....pastu wat gaya dak2 af menari lagu menuju puncak, mmg lwk giler....kira mmg enjoy la mlm tu, xde r rasa rugi cuma mybe trkilan ckit ko t sbb xsempat nk brgmbar ngan diorang. Jd semenjak mlm tu, aku dh jd peminat noh, mmg seriously he's so damn cute....hehe...so overall, it's kinda worth it...=P



Sunday, August 9, 2009

pain, hurt misery....sad, crying, hatred

suddenly I feel like crying when I came across a profile in FB. Suddenly it brings me so much pain and misery, why I need to be sad coz of him, I tried to hate him, and I really I thought I manage to do that but when suddenly I came acroos his profile why I feel so much pain. hurt and I really want to cry out loud. I hate this, I wanna be strong, build a new life, start all over again but it's hard, damn hard till I'm not sure if I can ever get over it....

Friday, August 7, 2009

::.....this is how life works.....::

today is one hard day....first, I've got ipm test early in d morning, I didn't do well coz obviously I didn't study enough like always and then I found out dat i left 4 question unanswered coz I didn't turn over the paper. Silly mistakes dat I always do in my life, well I guess things already happen, what else there left for me to regret, rite?....okay, I already forget bout dat.
Next thing is, I fall down the stairs in the lecture hall, I got up quickly and really don't wanna know how many person saw dat incident. But it's okay...c'mon who in d world never fall off rite, it's embarassing of course but it's no big deal.
Okay, the third thing and the most fearsome one is the proposal. I just found out dat I need to present mine on 28th of AUGUST....that means this month!!!! I'm a dead meat, my progress is not even 5%. I can't face my supervisor now coz I'm really embarassed with him and coz I don't have anything to show him plus I'm super tense rite now.....really sorry prof!!
I know where I did wrong, I always take things lightly, take things for granted...and I thing the biggest mistakes that I do is I forget about my Almighty creator. I'm just a servant but when things work well for me I start to forget bout Him. I'm no good servant, I lied a lot, I hurt my parents feeling, I take my friends for granted and so much more but now I really regret it and i want to seek for everybody's forgiveness especially my Almighty creator and I hope my repent is accepted coz I really wanna be a new me....
But now I want to start over, organise things back in place, push myself to the limit and work extra hard to catch up with everything to make sure my life is back on track......wish me luck and I really need strength to do this, pray the best for me mum, love you always...~

Thursday, August 6, 2009

my life is always.........topsy turvy!!!!!!!!!!

i'm back.....life is so much complicated now, things didn't go the way I want it to be, actually....things always didn't go the way we want it to be coz dat's how life works. There's so much things running at the same times till i feel dat it's hard for me to find space to breathe. For my love story, it finish here, things happen and change everything and i'm glad i know it. Things in class was so messy, with all d subject that i find hard to go along with. I dun really care wat people think of me but sometimes knowing their thought is so painful than i thought it will be. Yeah, i'm no good, i admit that but at least i'm not a hypocrite and i take responsibilties for my words, differs with some people who seems only know how to be a liar. My love story is a disaster, my study, pest management test tomorrow...seems so complicated, my project....i'm blank. What else there to talk bout now........i'm a dead meat!!!