Monday, January 30, 2012


It's frustrating!
If you can be at my place and understand how hard for me to say it.
I'm torn.
I just want to run away from everything and everyone.
I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
I try.
Can you at least understand?
Sorry is the only word I know now.
It didn't do any good.
I know.
I try.

Friday, January 13, 2012

marriage talk AGAIN

First discussion I heard in 2012 is marriage. Lame! I know but I'm not getting any younger. To be honest, I'm quite worry about this since I don't have anyone. But, still I know that marriage is not determine by that. Sometimes it just happen. I'm happy for all my friends who already married or about to get married. And congratulations for my friend who about to welcome her 2nd child! Omo, 2nd already?! I'm really falling behind.

Marriage talk will never end until you're married, no? It's not about finding someone good as your partner, who doesn't want one but it's more about straighten yourself, prepare yourself to be a good partner as much you want your other half to be. I don't think I'm anywhere near it.

Marriage is not one of my plan for 2012 but we'll see. Life has no guarantee after all. So to Jieha, at least wait for me to get married first before you have your 3rd child, will ya?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Embracing 2012

First entry of 2012.

2011 in review.

1. My research is a mess. I'm procrastinating for months! And yet, I need to face my sv and tell him what I'm doing now. I'm stressed!

2. I have massive fight with one of my beloved bestie. Things not going well for us, it just doesn't seem to fit like we used to be.

3. I achieved absolutely nothing. My planning all went haywire.

4. I didn't go to 2PM concert which was like the most anticipated concert in my entire life!

5. I have no saving at all. I used to have one, until I start spending like miss Hilton and cause me my saving. Great!

The good thing that happen to me in 2011.

1. My family is still a very happy family. Alhamdulillah.

2. I met Mr. Y after quite some times and I have his new phone number.

3. I met my students outside and they still remember as their teacher even I'm not teaching them anymore. Alhamdulillah.

I said I hate new year resolution. But I really need to set some goals for this new year.

1. I am 24 this year. I hope my patience increase like my age.

2. I need to start finishing my research. Finish my survey, data analysis and thesis writing. And yes, finish up my paper presentation at the conference.

3. Saving for my trip to Korea with Sarah and my mum.

4. Love myself more.

5. Live a healthy life.I need to start working out. I'm not getting any younger.

6. Be a better servant to Allah, our creator. Be a good daughter, student, teacher, friend, sister, niece, aunt, and a better human overall.

7. Spend my money wisely.

8. Searching for my soul mate. Boleh? InsyaAllah.

9. Make others happier.

10. Think positively, stay strong, never give up and keep smiling no matter how hard things would be.

11. Love what I do.

So, my goals are not listed according to priority. I hope I can achieve it. I know I can. So will you. And I'll start my new year with my family. Nothing better.

What past is past. Think about it once in a while but never dwell in it. Life will never go backwards, why would you? Have a better 2012 everyone.