I really need to learn some anger management technique. Believe me, to get on my nerves is simply easy thing to do. I hate it! When I'm mad, I said things I didn't mean, I do things out of my sane thinking and at the end, I end up doing things I really regret.
I should understand her, didn't I? Rather than being so cynical and pissed off and make her feel even more bad, I should talk to her heart to heart. Said things that comfort her, didn't I? And I thought I know what friendship means. I'm sick.
I thought I don't have ego, hell yeah. How in the world I end up with that kind of conclusion? I can't face her and say I'm sorry. Clearly it's my fault. If only can control my feelings and my thoughts, this wouldn't be worse than it already had.
She's a nice girl, a good friend. It's just she's confused and stuck between two. And why I can't be the one who make things easier for her? Why I'm the one who always make things worst?
People are scared of me. You really think I like that? You really think that I like it when people can't look at me when I passed by? When people lower their gaze at me? When they can't look at me straight in the eyes because they're scared? I don't want all of that. I don't blame them for that. It's me, I need to change myself. The selfish, hot-tempered, cold, can't smile, cynical, negative creature.
I'm sorry again.
