human that'll never satisfied with anything

This can be considered as ungrateful, since we all are called plain human, this is normal. I'm jealous of students who have to study and now struggling very hard for their final examination. Not bragging bout doesn't have to take any examination but once I left the time where I'm a student who always need to take examination, I kinda miss the feeling of struggling hard, scanning through the notes, past years exam paper, all the quizzes, discussing seriously each of the past year question, it's tiring but the satisfaction is there. I don't know if I'm weird but I really miss that.

People will think that it's so much fun when you don't have to attend any classes or take any examination so you can relax. yeah, right! I've tried it and I tell you, it's not fun especially for person who can't really straighten up their lives like me. Things that look fun at first, will not be exactly as what you expected.

When I was young, and rebellious teenager, I always wanted to study far away from home so that I can have freedom. What's more fun than freedom?!! Being able to live your life the way you want it and can be far away from your nagging parents and annoying siblings, it's heaven for god sake! Now, I realise that it does feel good for a moment but at last you begin to understand that there's no place like home. Home is where you have to listen to your parents babbling, put up with your crazy siblings but in the end, eat dinner happily together and laugh. Together with people who really cares about you, know you inside and out and accept you the way you are, that's family!

I haven't felt that quite a long time now. I miss my years as degree students struggling like crazy for examination and I miss my family very much. But my research restricts me from being where my heart wants to be. Mum, dad...I want to be with you but I can't. I'll hang on over here, I'll be back soon.

To all other students especially UiTM students who will undertake the final examination, I wish you all the best! And yes, appreciate every moment of it. Good luck!

mixed up!

Aku rasa nak update blog tapi xtau nak citer ape, bleh? Banyak bnda yang dah jadi, ye la, camtu baru namanya idup kan? Kalau aku asyik citer pasal thesis aku yg tak pernah surut tu, aku pun da bosan rasanya, jadi selain itu, aku pun takde bnda nak citer sangat.

Bulan ni dah genap 2 tahun rupanya aku berblogging ni. Aku pun tak ingat cena aku ni leh involve bnda2 gini, agaknya time tu tgh trend, so aku pun ikot je la. Lagi pun, kalo nak arap aku tulis tangan letak dalam diari yg cam time skolah2 dlu, tak kuasa aku. Jadi baik guna teknologi yang ada ni kan.

Pe lagi ye? Hmmm....aku ada satu wish yang aku arap2 sgt akan dapat, tak kesah la dalam masa trdekat ke panjang ke tapi arap2nya sebelom aku tua la kot sbb malu kalo dah tua2 nak wat cmtu. Heh....pe wish tu? Biarlah rahsia dulu, dah dpt baru citer, kalo x, malu....

I wish I can talk to that person for the last time. I should do it when I got the chance before but I didn't. My ego is killing me and now, I'm hoping for one chance, only one, to tell him one thing that I've kept to myself for so long. Only then, I can say goodbye....


I'm so mixed up! I hate it, other ppl hate it, but I'm scared of the possibilities.

I love K!

I'm busy but somehow I like it. I feel I did something useful with my time rather that just lying around doing nothing. I have a new student now, my dear Bieber look alike niece. Her mum asked me to help her with Math, I have no problem with it. I might not be a good teacher but I can help her a lil bit I guess. Gosh! I never thought that I will teach Math to anyone, it is the most impossible subject back in my high school but guess we can never predict what's gonna happen in future, right? The person you hate so much can be the one you love one day, just like Math!

I dream of someone last night, my love. Hehe...but I can't remember what it is, but doesn't matter, he keep me smiling all day. Love ya K! I miss you so much and please come here as soon as possible. Take care and good luck, my love will always be with you. I love you, K!

Love is like a cup of coffee. You'll be addicted. I don't like coffee but I guess you're my caffein!

Move on, it's your life Wanie.....

Then he's not worth it....

That's what my bestie tell me just now. I don't know, I just can't think bout it anymore. He's not the one to be blame. It's me, I guess I made him look like a bad guy. And he's not. He never done anything wrong to me. It's me who keeps fooling around and end up hurting myself like a stupid person.

He's someone in my life
He's someone in my heart
I guess that someone should be let go
Because he used to be someone to me
It's time for me to move on for that someone

I wish you all the best in your life. I'm sorry I don't want to try to forget you and cherish you in my heart always because that's the only way I can smile with the thought, "I love this guy for real and he's happy now so I should move on with my life now".

me.you.us

Time stops when I meet you. I want to believe it is a miracle. I miss you so much, seeing you makes my heart beats faster, everything else just doesn't matter anymore. Until now, I asked myself. Everything happen for a reason, and what is the reason for this? 4 years ago, I thought fate makes me choose you. I fall for you. Things happen. And after 2 years since the last time we saw and contact each other, I met you again. The same face, the very same person who teach me...

This is love.

I do believe in miracle!

Coincidence? Miracle? Fate? I believe in all of that. Meeting you tonight, I was struck. Never imagine that. My heart stop for a moment, I'm shaking, I'm dead nervous and I can't breathe. Why must I met you? It will only bring more pain to me and you, no....I don't know what you're thinking, I don't know what you feel. It suffocates me.

I don't want to see you

Not because I hate you

Not because I want to erase you

I'm scared that I miss you even more

I'm scared that I love you even more

I'm scared of everything

And tonight, of all the night, I've been waiting when it will happen. And seeing you, I'm speechless. You were there, looking as good as ever and I'm here still the same person.

And tonight I'm sure and when people asked me

Do you really love him?









I know the answer to it

Yes, I do.

And I miss you now.

Can't you just be a miracle and come back? I need you now.




I hate the pathetic me who always look back in my memories.

And it's you again

There's something I always wanted to ask you but I'm scared, I don't wanna hear you saying what I don't wanna hear. How pathetic I am. It's been 2 years since I tried my very best to erase you, trying to divert myself, but now I know you're always there, inside of me. Deep down, maybe in my unconscious part of brain, I never forget you. It hurts, do you even know that? So hurt that I can't even cry it out, it breaks my heart everytime.

In my dreams, I asked you...what actually happen between us? And you answered back just by saying, "Do I know you?"

Why?

And yes, I guess now I can't lie to myself. I still love you, just the same as 4 years ago. When I was 18, I found you, my first love. I guess until now, it never changed, not even a bit cause it hurts the same.


And it's you.....MY3108


And I'm sorry that I love you. I wish it is a lie.

Merdeka!

Salam and hi.

Since hari ni merdeka, so every post yang aku tgk pun pasal merdeka. Nak wish jugak la, Happy 53rd Independence Day to our beloved Malaysia! Hopefully we will have a prosperous years ahead!!!

To my friends who celebrated their birthday today, Happy birthday guys! And yes, happy birthday to you too mr. past memories who I try so very hard to let go, have a wonderful years always and just be happy.

Happy merdeka to my thought of you....I'm more than happy now. Thanx.

One of the happiest day in my life!

Well I guess some of the UiTM students are really2 pissed off with the system. They should because the system is terrible, don't want to say the S thing. But I've got mine already, patience pay well people. Just keep trying, you'll get it.

Ok, first of all, I'm officially will continue my study next semester. I choose to continue master first, it's better and give me more solid foundation if I want to continue my PhD. Kalau ada rezeki, ade la kan. One thing at a time. Patience is a good virtue.

Ever heard of delayed gratification? It's in CLEO dis month. It's true I guess. Learn to be patient and you'll feel more satisfied than ever. Talking from experience I would say.

About my result, how would it be? Hmm....well let just said that I did my best and it pay well. Mum and dad, this one is for you. I want you guys to be the proudest parents on my convocation day. And to all my friends, thank you for all the support and love. This one is for you guys also.

Goodbye love

Someone said to me yesterday after I finished the exam paper, "look, that's your secret crush!". And I said, "No, he's not!". She said that "You're eyes can't lie to me"

Is it? People can see it in my eyes? Did he see the same thing? Am I still dwelling in the nonreciprocal feeling? The answer is, I don't know, seriously have no idea what I feel rite now. But I can't look at him, it does make me hurt. But I'm happy if he's happy. 

He's not meant for me. I let him go. I walk away from him and counting the moments before we will not see each other forever. And that's the best for both of us. Goodbye love, be happy forever. I'll be fine. I have a lot of people to meet!

Macam nini, agaknya aku pun kena buat simbolik membuang memori.

Cinta, Love, Amor, Pyaar, Saranghe, Ai....wateva you called it~

Salam and hi to all...

Tetiba terdetik nak cerita pasal cinta. Cinta aku ke? Of course bukan, I'm single and lovin' it ok! Ok, ni bkn pempat nak promote diri tapi nak cerita sumthing tentang cinta orang2 disekeliling.

Scene 1

Heroin yang baru putus cinta. Menjumpai lelaki lain dalam masa yg singkat. Mengekspresi cinta kepada orang2 sekeliling. Tapi kelihatannya mcm sebelah je yang excited. Pendapat? p/s pelajaran seperti diabaikan sejak kedatangan lelaki ni.

Scene 2

Heroin yang baru diberitahu oleh lelaki yg selama ini dianggap hero hatinya bhw dia menunggu heroin yg lain. Jadi selama ini, heroin cuma tempat dia mengisi kesunyian di hati, menanti heroin yang lain. Terasa dipergunakan. Pendapat?

Mula2 sekali aku mintak maaf kalo mencampuri hal peribadi masing2, cuma sebagai kawan yang mengambil berat, aku ada nasihat utk mereka2 ini. Nak terima, baguslah. Taknak terima, terpulang la, aku takde hak nak cakap apa2.

So, heroin 1, pasti ke lelaki tu sygkn ko mcm mna ko syg kan dia? Ke ko cume anggap lelaki tu sbg pengubat hati luka disebabkan cinta lama? Jangan menipu diri sendiri. Cinta bukan sekadar nak keluar date, nak bgtau 'I ade bf ok' atau setakat nak mengisi kekosongan hati tu. Kalo disebabkn dia, ko bleh ignore study, tipu kwn2, haih.....pandai2 la pkir ok, aku tak ckp pun ko tau la kn. Beb, umo dh 22, fikiran kena matang, fikir baik buruk, put yourself first. Cintan2 beria pun tapi kalo takde jodoh, heh...sia2 wa ckp lu! Wat pape pun kna pkir baik buruk, mungkin org tak nampak, tak tau pe dlm hati ko, tapi igt tuhan tu Maha Mengetahui. 

Heroin 2, it's ok to cry, to be sad. I've been through that. It hurts tapi bagus la dia decide utk bgtau sbb bila dah makin jauh korang terlibat dlm perhubungan ni, sakitnya lagi teruk. Everything happen for a reason. It's just that u didn't meet the guy meant for you yet. Hey, being single is not so bad, umo pun baru 22 so jgn sedih lama2 k, kejap2 sudah. Lgipun  tak comel la kalo u sedih2, cheer up k?

Utk renungan bersama, cinta tu fitrah manusia. Tak salah tapi kena la kena gayanya. Cinta tu anugerah tuhan tau, tapi kalau tau menghargai cinta tapi tak mengingati tuhan pun watpe kn? One more thing, jgn cemarkn cinta dengan ayat " I can't live without you syg!". Heh, kalo Allah s.w.t tu tak jadikan ko lagi la ko mmg tak idup terus tau x? Renung2kn dan selamat beramal.

p/s: excited plak tetiba arini ade peminat! Tapi sygnya not my taste. Excited jgk bila lelaki yg diusha kat secret recipe tu senyum kat I! Berbunga hati. Ari ape ek ari ni? hee...

I'm fine, thank you~

I'm fine, perfectly fine.....

I'm smiling now, didn't I?

Oho, Wanie crying never suit you, you know that?

C'mon la, such a heartless, emotionless, ignorant person like you can't cry

Since you don't have any feelings at all

Tears are for the weak

Such a strong big headed girl like you can't do that

It's a shame

And yes, I'm fine! And I'm crazy but I tell you a secret, all the best people are......

For you, Mr. Memory~

Tak pernah aku terniat melukaimu

Tak pernah aku terniat membencimu

Andai dapat kau selami hati ini, mungkin kau akan mengerti

Betapa aku mengharapkan cuma yang terbaik buatmu

Berkali-kali ku cuba mencari yang lain

Menyayangi yang lain

Akhirnya bila ku labuhkan tirai malam

Hatiku masih milikmu

Cintaku masih untukmu

Ketika dan saat ini aku cuma ingin kau

Menjadi dan mencari yang terbaik untuk dirimu

Buat diriku yang masih disini

Kehidupanku masih panjang

Mungkin akan tiba saatnya

Bila kita berpandangan

Aku mampu tersenyum dan mengorak langkah

Meninggalkanmu buat selamanya

Bersama hatiku 

Pergh, ayat jiwang siot. Well, besa la kan ada masa aku jadi lovey dovey cket. Pe salahnya, blog aku, kat sini je la tempat aku nak cerita pe yang tak boleh aku ungkapkan dgn kata2. Untuk siapa? Ooopppssss....yang penting bukan budak kelas AS220 semester 6 ok, tolong jangan buat spekulasi atau perasan sendiri.

Buat seseorang yang pernah hadir dalam hidup ini. Kehadiran yang kadang kala aku harapkan takkan pernah berlaku. Terima kasih kerana mengajar erti cinta, rindu, luka, kecewa dan bahagia. 

I'm wonder woman...yeah!!!

Ari ni dah ari rabu, ari yang aku sgt tunggu2 sebab akhirnya aku boleh blk umah. Dah lama rasanya aku kat Shah Alam ni, rindu sangat dah rasanya kat Alor Star tu, jmpa famili, member2 yang sma2 becuti kat umah.

Nak balik ni memang la excited tapi ade gak sedihnya. Sedih sbb kena tinggal anak2 aku yang masih kecik tu, and tinggal Mr. Happy yang aku akan jumpa bila balik cuti nnt. Mr. Happy, tolong la jaga diri bebaik k, jangan la asyik sedih je, pikir benda2 yang wat sakit hati, aku risau tgk dia macam tu. Mulut je kate ok, tapi hati tu...ntah la~

It's funny how I fall for you, funny how we will never look good together and the funniest thing is I think I can only move on once you said to me that 'I'm happy with her'. So, Wanie...you're maybe one lucky girl but not in love dear. Even after all this, I can still smile and said that I used to love someone as great as him.

So girl out there, love is part of life, only a part of it, not everything. Have fun with it and once you lost it, get back up and continue your life. When you stop and look back, you'll realise how wonderful life has been.