Sunset Glow

blank.hurt.torn

2012-01-30T08:44:00.002+08:00

It's frustrating!
If you can be at my place and understand how hard for me to say it.
I'm torn.
I just want to run away from everything and everyone.
I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
I try.
Can you at least understand?
Sorry is the only word I know now.
It didn't do any good.
I know.
I try.

words for my mother

2012-01-15T01:32:00.003+08:00

Mum,

I love you
But I never know how to really say it
But I'll show you how much I love you
I'm sorry for all the pain you bear for me
I'm sorry for all the tears I caused you
For all the time you were worried about me
For all the sleepless night taking care of me
I'm sorry for all I harsh things I said
For all my actions that break your heart
You always there holding my hand
Hugging me
Comfort me
Wipe away my tears
I miss you mum
I love you
Thank you for bringing me into this world.

marriage talk AGAIN

2012-01-13T22:08:00.002+08:00

First discussion I heard in 2012 is marriage. Lame! I know but I'm not getting any younger. To be honest, I'm quite worry about this since I don't have anyone. But, still I know that marriage is not determine by that. Sometimes it just happen. I'm happy for all my friends who already married or about to get married. And congratulations for my friend who about to welcome her 2nd child! Omo, 2nd already?! I'm really falling behind.

Marriage talk will never end until you're married, no? It's not about finding someone good as your partner, who doesn't want one but it's more about straighten yourself, prepare yourself to be a good partner as much you want your other half to be. I don't think I'm anywhere near it.

Marriage is not one of my plan for 2012 but we'll see. Life has no guarantee after all. So to Jieha, at least wait for me to get married first before you have your 3rd child, will ya?

Nothing like family~~

2012-01-04T14:04:00.009+08:00

I have a great kick start on the first day of 2012! A full day with my big family. Cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and even my beloved grandmother. A great day, fun filling day with my own blood relatives.

We start the day with bowling. The whole bowling alley have been booked especially for us. It's happening like always. Never a quiet moment. My family are like that. Next destination, eating durian, loads and loads of durian at my full of memories childhood place, Kuala Kubu Bharu. Small town, with historic building, and memories everywhere I see. Then, we head to Fraser Hill. Taking pictures, eating and nothing much. It's a great thing.

Cousin, lil bro, nephew

Cousins, nephew

Aunty and cousins

Grandma

Uncle, aunty, nephew

Cousins

Cousins and niece

There are a lot of different personalities in my family. For me, I grow up separately from my cousins which most of them grew up together. I think there are gap between me and them but I really try my best to fit myself with them. No matter what, family is family. And I hope we'll forever be as one. The family of Abu Hanifah's!

It's my family!

Embracing 2012

2012-01-01T02:04:00.002+08:00

First entry of 2012.

2011 in review.

1. My research is a mess. I'm procrastinating for months! And yet, I need to face my sv and tell him what I'm doing now. I'm stressed!

2. I have massive fight with one of my beloved bestie. Things not going well for us, it just doesn't seem to fit like we used to be.

3. I achieved absolutely nothing. My planning all went haywire.

4. I didn't go to 2PM concert which was like the most anticipated concert in my entire life!

5. I have no saving at all. I used to have one, until I start spending like miss Hilton and cause me my saving. Great!

The good thing that happen to me in 2011.

1. My family is still a very happy family. Alhamdulillah.

2. I met Mr. Y after quite some times and I have his new phone number.

3. I met my students outside and they still remember as their teacher even I'm not teaching them anymore. Alhamdulillah.

I said I hate new year resolution. But I really need to set some goals for this new year.

1. I am 24 this year. I hope my patience increase like my age.

2. I need to start finishing my research. Finish my survey, data analysis and thesis writing. And yes, finish up my paper presentation at the conference.

3. Saving for my trip to Korea with Sarah and my mum.

4. Love myself more.

5. Live a healthy life.I need to start working out. I'm not getting any younger.

6. Be a better servant to Allah, our creator. Be a good daughter, student, teacher, friend, sister, niece, aunt, and a better human overall.

7. Spend my money wisely.

8. Searching for my soul mate. Boleh? InsyaAllah.

9. Make others happier.

10. Think positively, stay strong, never give up and keep smiling no matter how hard things would be.

11. Love what I do.

So, my goals are not listed according to priority. I hope I can achieve it. I know I can. So will you. And I'll start my new year with my family. Nothing better.

What past is past. Think about it once in a while but never dwell in it. Life will never go backwards, why would you? Have a better 2012 everyone.

Moving on

2011-12-12T21:52:00.003+08:00

How an I suppose to change? Not talking bout new year resolution cause it's like writing all the things you won't be able to achieve for the year. Trust me, always does.

I don't blame the resolution, but it's all on me. I have been dragging myself, procrastinate for months. I really mean it, MONTHS!! I should conduct my survey, which I haven't did. I should prepare my paper, which 5% in progress since last 2 months. I need to meet with ministry ppl, I haven't do that yet. Basically, I've been lazying around. Relaxing, no? Stressing, yes!

I work best under pressure, I said that. Yes, but you know how unhealthy it can be. I can't sleep well, I can't eat well. If I keep continue this, I'm gonna ruining myself soon.

So, how I need to keep up? I don't have my motivator here. Yes, my mum. If she knew what I've been doing, she'll be so pissed off. I don't wanna scare her, worry her. I've got lot to do but I'm not moving on. It feels like something been tying me down, telling me I'll be just fine. But I got nightmare thinking of it.

I need to start working, but how? I'm lost. I need to change. I need to be new me. I need to keep on moving. Seriously.

You can, Wanie. Be confident. Don't pressure yourself. Past is past. Look forward and start new. When you start moving, things fall back nicely. Trust yourself. You better than you know.

2011-12-11T22:20:00.002+08:00

I talk bout my Fiesta baby on my previous previous post, no? Come to think bout it, I'm capable to pay for it. It's just that I think that maybe I should start helping my parents rather than spending all my money on having that pricey car. It's beautiful, of course. I can't stop envying those who owns one but my parents should be my priority. Most of my friends already started working but I'm still studying, and maybe keep studying for another 5 years. I should help them when I'm capable of doing so, no? So, I guess I'll be having Fiesta when I got my 10k salary. Or maybe not. There will be another car by the time I make that much money.

So, should I buy a more decent, proper, reasonable car or should I keep using my mum's? She's been paying for the car, and I used it for free. I should give it back to her.

So yeah, that's my prob. Nah, I've got whole lots of other stuff to worry about.

Ombak Rindu review

2011-12-05T23:29:00.002+08:00

Dah tgk Ombak Rindu? Kalau dah, ok la, kalau belom, ikot suka korang la nak tgk ke tak. So, aku rasa review ni maybe ada yg setuju, ada jgk yg membantah sgt2. Terpulang la kan. As a viewer, I would say that I'm not really satisfied with the movie. The plot is okay, the casting plak so-so, boleh la lepas, the acting part is a lil bit here and there, OST plak cam hampeh.

1. Plot

The storyline tu dah ubah sikit, tapi tak kesah sgt yang tu. Nama pun adaptasi, takkan korang nak sejibik-sejibik cam dalam novel tu kan. Tapi maybe there are crucial parts yang dorang skip, maybe lebih duration kot.

2. Casting

Maya as Izzah? It does sounds weird to me mula2 dengar. Tapi she can carry the role better than what I expected. Not perfect but acceptable. Cuma part mengaji2 tu lagunya lain cam besa kita dengar. Mmg xslh kalau lagunya lain, tapi bunyi cam pelik cket. Pronounciation plak agak boleh diimprovekan lagi tapi still forgiven la. She works hard, it's good.

3. Acting

I was kinda dissapointed with the acting. Not all, but some. For example, Datuk Sufiah yang konon2nya vicious tu. I think Azizah Mahzan can do lot better than that. I thought I was watching Putri Gunung Ledang for a moment when she talks. I don't know if she supposed to sounds like orang bangsawan dulu2 bercakap. Instead of a vicious woman she supposed to be like in the novel, I think she resembles more of a drama queen. Not vicious tapi over the top. With her over powdered face and red lipstick time halau Izzah, she started to look like Kak Limah. Pernah tgk drama korea, Boys Over Flower? Aku bayangkan mak dia cam mak si hero tu. Mmg nampak jahat giler tp tak drama queen. She's cold.

Lisa, ok. Boleh la. There's a lot that she can improves. I love Lisa, don't get me wrong but I can see how hard she tried to play the role of Mila. It doesn't look natural to me, more like she push it a lil too hard. Macam terlalu dibuat2 watak dia tu.

Aaron punya acting, ok. Nothing new sbb dah banyak sangat aku tgk watak dia yang cam tu. Nak komen lebih2 pun xtau sangat.

4. OST

Mula2 dgr ost dlm movie tu I was like, okay, sedap la jugak. Dapat la feel sedih tu. Tapi kalo asyik repeat lagu yang sama, part yang sama like 20 times in the movie, in every scene, menyampah la jugak aku dgr. Asyik2...'tuhan tolongla.....' lagi2 'tuhan tolongla...' Takde ke lagu lain? Kalau ye pun, kurangkan cket pun xpe. Ilang fokus aku bila aku dgr lagu tu. Dari awal smpai la akhir. Ada jugka lagu lain tapi lagu yang si Adira tu nyanyi la yang paling bnyak.

Ada orang tgk cerita ni sampai nangis2, abih basah tudung. Yang laki pun ada jugak yang nangis. So aku pun mesti la nak tau sedih sgt ke. Part mana yang sedih sgt tu. Tapi in the end, aku asyik ketawa sebab lakonan Azizah Mahzan tu. And part last yang Pak Dolah bgtau yang Hariz tu anak dia. Cakap je la laki Datuk Sufiah tu merayu kat dia mntak bagi anak dia, yang ko kene buat muka dia time tu kenapa. Seriously aku gelak smpai berair mata. Hahaha....maybe ada orang pelik nape aku gelak, sama la macam aku pelik nape korang nangis. Dari citer romatik, aku rasa dah boleh jadi romantik komedi dah. Tapi masing2 punya choice la kan. As one of the viewer and orang yang baca novel tu, dis is what I thought.

So kalo korang nak tgk, sila kan. Kalau rasa cam ragu2, maybe ko tggu kat Astro je la ye. So, overall rating? Aku rasa 2.5/5. Sebab aku mmg xpuas ati sgt citer ni.

my baby you~

2011-11-29T21:12:00.002+08:00

Can I have this? I tweeted bout my plans for next 2 years. It includes further my study and having this beautiful baby!

It's my current obsession. I really really wanna have my hands on this. I wanna own one but of course I can't afford it just yet. But I can once I continue my study. So, what is actually the connection between these two? Well, to put it in a simpler terms, I have my scholarship money enough for the monthly installment! My mum will give me hard times for this but mum, I really want this.

Well, that baby is not the main reason why I wanna continue study. But of course I can only continue my study if my beloved uni decide to give another chance. I think my whole life, study is the only thing I know. I'm not really in love with it, like crazily obsess with studying but I'm used to it. Secondly, there's one person who keeps telling me that I can be a good teacher. He thought me the meaning of knowledge, studying, it's not all about great scores, you're successful when you learn to be a better person. Integrity, trust in oneself, that's what I learn from him. And I don't want it to stop there. I'm not sure I can be a good teacher like he said but certainly, I'll try.

I'll be 28 by the times I finish my study. It sounds like forever but I learn that time flies in supersonic jets nowadays. It'll passed without you even notice it. Marriage is part of the planning by the time I'm 28 too. But if by that time I still can't find my 'husband', then mum, please take care of this matter. I'm not choosy, it'll better if he got a bungalow, cars, great job, tall, good looking....blablabla. Haha! I won't get married forever la cmtu. Let's just see who will it be when the time comes. Why worried bout things that had been chosen for you? Listen to your own advice Wanie!

Now, let's just focus on my study and my Fiesta baby. You'll be with me, no?

marriage at 23? me?

2011-11-28T23:35:00.003+08:00

It was kinda tension for me when I open my fb page and seeing all the congratulatory status and pics of my friends, mainly my high school mates on their engagement or wedding day. I mean, we're just 23, no? Is it me who are already too late to get married or those ppl getting married too early? My mum married when she was 23 years old, and that was 23 years ago! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. It's just that they make me feel like I'm supposed to get married now too. Like I'm on the prime age of getting married. I'm planning to do that, earliest will be 26, latest will definitely before 30. But still, I'm only gonna finish my study when I'm 28, and that's like 5 years from now. But again, it just my planning. If it written I would get married next month, then I will.

You know what, I think the reason is I'm not ready for this kind of commitment just yet. I heard somewhere that among the reason why your 'jodoh' is late is because you, yourself are not ready. And maybe all of my other friends are ready for the responsibility. So, stop complaining about it Wanie! Just focus on your study and remember your goal!

2011-11-13T15:20:00.002+08:00

I don't really know what makes me happy in this world.
Sometimes, things feel so real, at one moment it feel so fake.
Things that feel so rite can be so wrong.
I have no idea what I want, waking up staring at the ceiling wondering what should I do every single day.
I should get myself straight but I just don't know how.

you're right!

2011-10-31T21:33:00.002+08:00

Looking at others busy studying for test and exam, and seeing their tension faces just put a smile on my face. Not because of I like seeing people in stress, it's just that they remind me of my days when I used to be one of them. I believe that now, no matter what, cherish the moment cause you will definitely missed it once everything come to an end.

No matter what is the situation you're in, wishing that you can escape from it and live a different life won't just guarantee that you will be happier. Facing the problem is the only solution instead of running away from it. It's not easy but nothing is impossible. I'll strive for better thing, think positive and live my life happily. And you should too!

my Upper East Side

2011-10-30T21:59:00.008+08:00

I was browsing through my facebook friends, see what they've been up to and I forgot how fast time flies, we've all will turn 24 next year! I have friends that I think others wouldn't believe that I know all these people and we came from the same class in high school. She's grown up prettily, she studied oversea, she's smart! Not to mention that she's rich, she's been traveling to so many places plus she looks like a celebrity too. I'm jealous, yes a little bit, which I think all normal human being will.It looks like a lil bit like the Upper East Side.

That's life. People see perfection,but there are things that we don't know. I believe no one is perfect, we can find satisfaction in life by being thankful with what we have. Always think of those less unfortunate than us to make us a grateful person and always see people who are better than you to keep you going forward and achieve greater things. I'm happy being me, I won't change my family with anything. We're not rich, nor famous but at least I have a happy family. That's something money can't buy.

And I think all of my friends are great, rich or not, pretty or not, famous or not....they all make my life even better.

2011-10-24T20:17:00.002+08:00

Mum, I can cry now? I miss you, I miss the family. This been too hard lately, I can't find my strength to move on. It hurts, it's tiring. I wanna stop here. Everything seems different now, I don't belong here, this is not my place.

It hurts so much, I hate myself for being such a loser. Mum, I really need you to hug me now and tell me I can go through this period. I know I'm a big girl now but I need you always. I miss you. I shouldn't cry by my tears keep rolling down my cheek. I want to go 10 years back, but I can't.

nothing in particular

2011-10-16T13:12:00.002+08:00

Do you have bought anything and not regret it till now even though it cost you like hundreds or thousand bucks? I do. I never regret buying it, everyone envy it and told me how beautiful it is. It just made me happy!

whatever

2011-10-06T23:57:00.003+08:00

Whatever....! I can't exactly describe the things that have been bothering me. But I guess for the first time, I really wanna give up on it. I couldn't care anymore, tiring! I need space to breathe for myself. I do what I want, how I want. Ok?

Being a punching bag is tiring, exhausting! I don't care. I couldn't care less. Enough is enough, I'm not gonna follow the game anymore. Suffer yourself, ok?

Selfish Wanie, yes I am one. What to do? I don't have feelings anymore, thanks to you.

Ok. Bye!

Updated!

2011-09-07T09:34:00.004+08:00

Pertama sekali....Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! Cukup terawih aritu? Dah puasa enam? Hahaha....teeettt, aku pun sama je. Harap2nya next Ramadan lagi sempurna la ibadatnya ye. InsyaAllah.

Ok. Bukan nak bagi ceramah agama tapi terasa sangat lama dah xupdate blog ni, dah berhabuk sgt2 ni. So, td pergi la menjengah ke blog2 orang yang dikenali dan tidak dikenali. So, bila trbaca tulisan sorang manusia ni, terasa cam...wahh, orang kaya, senangnya dapat apa2, xmintak pun dapat, aku ni kalo mntak, mau la dalam 5-6 tahun bru dapat. Tu pun kena bayar sendiri. Tapi...

Bila baca blog kawan aku yang sorang ni pulak, yang aku rasa sangat hebat dugaan untuk keluarga dia, aku rasa kagum sangat. Mungkin dia tak kaya dan tambah pulak dengan keadaan yang xberapa menentu skrang, still dia meneruskan kehidupan macam biasa. Tanggungjawab lebih banyak tapi aku rasa itu akan mematangkan dia. Terasa pulak bila dia kata kawan2 makin menyepi.

Aku pun rasa macam tu. Tak rasa cam nk contact sapa2, tpi bukan la jgk busy. Entahlah, kadang2 aku sendiri tak paham apa yang aku nak. Kenapa aku buat bnda yang aku buat sekarang. Terlalu banyak persoalan.

Tapi apa2 pun, aku bersyukur dengan apa yang ada, aku bersyukur aku bukan dari keluarga yang kaya sebab aku rasa nnt aku ni jadi manusia tak tau susah (ayat ni bukan ditujukan kepada sesiapa, cuma khas utk aku shj), and dengan usia yang nak masuk 24 tak lama lagi, aku dah patut sangat fikir masa depan dan berubah.

Bolahkah terjadi? InsyaAllah.

Percaya tak aku xde gmbar raya ngan family? Ni pun nasib baik dapat gather balik time open house hari tu. Sedar tak sedar dah lama kami berkawan.

to you, from me with love~~

2011-07-10T18:07:00.003+08:00

I've known you for 9 years already, we're best friend for more than 7 years. I know you inside and out, your problems, things you don't want others to know. Whatever happen, whatever you said or done, I promise myself not to let you go. I want us to be best friends forever, can we? I'll face all the ups and downs for us. For you dear, I would really want you to know, I never get mad with you, I know that you're such a nice girl, just with a little ups and down with the mood things. No one ever clean up my place like you do back then, no one listen to my problems and be there when I want to cry even if you can't understand a thing. No one let me hug you like I did with you, I can always be the kids I want to be when I'm with you and fool around. I always have other bestie but none can be like you. It hurts me to see you sad, to see you in trouble, so be happy always k? We'll be supporting big bang together forever and live together if we don't get married later. Hahaha....Nur Awatif Ahmad, I'm really very happy to ever know you and be your friend. I love you so much, you know that...so cheer up k...

the reason why

2011-06-22T15:29:00.002+08:00

It's been 3 years already since I start blogging. So many things I said here, some are used back to me, harsh words, mean words, things I shouldn't write. But this blog, is my virtual diary, I'm not a diary girl, but sometimes there are words I want to write. Sometimes I write with anger, sometimes with a big smiles and sometimes even with tears.

For me, it's not about traffic, extra income, followers, I don't pay attention to those things simply because I'm not good at writing. But I write my heart out, it does feel better to be able to write. When it comes to lovey dovey touchy stuff, I'll write in English, I do most of the times coz I'm comfortable with it. When I'm angry, it would be in Malay.

I enjoy reading other people's story, what happen to them everyday, what is their dream and others. This is starting a lil bit like an essay I do back then in high school but who cares? The one I hold so dear in my heart are here in the blog.

This library is getting colder, there's a lot of things for me to do. Don't really know where to start and end up writing here, typical me.

2011-06-12T23:17:00.002+08:00

I think I found a Morrie in my life. Gladly I found him.

Prof, thank you for being more than just a lecturer.
Thank you for teach me the value of sincerity and life.
You are surely teacher to the last.

when mouth can't say it,,,,,

2011-06-07T15:47:00.002+08:00

Sorry if the fact hurts you
I can't lie anymore
If you think that I'm a bad friend
Forgive me
It's just that I can't lie anymore
Maybe I am not a good friend to you
It's hard for me to follow you
It feels hard when I have to change myself
I always feel like that
I'm not giving excuses
Just that I don't think we see eye to eye
In most things
I pray for your success now and hereafter
If only I can tell you what I really feel
I'm sorry

the story of life

2011-06-05T22:43:00.003+08:00

Every post citer pasal kawen, tak penat ke? Aku penat, penat pikir and berangan, so biarla semuanya jadi macam yang dah tertulis ye tak? Jodoh tu kan kerja Tuhan, jadi tak perlu nak extremely worried plak, setiap yang berlaku tu ada hikmahnya, kan?

Tadi terlepas cakap dengan mak yang mmber housemate termasuk la anak dia ni rasa terbeban bila sambung master sebab bukan kehendak sendiri, tapi more or less terpaksa la. Tapi, aku tak bermaksud pun nak kata mak aku tu paksa, sendiri yang buat keputusan even almost 90 percent of the decision is sebab tak nak parents kecewa.

Penat belajar ni, kalo tak minat, kalo terpaksa. Tapi bila mak aku cakap, dalam dunia ni takde benda yang senang, semua benda ada kesusahan masing2. Memang betol tu sebab aku fikir, kalo aku keje pun, aku rasa aku still akan tensen. stress. Bila aku tgk kawan2 dah keje, cam best je tapi dengar jgk citer2 yang bos ni mcm2 perangai, byk keje melambak2. Bila tgk mmber yang tak keje lagi rasa cam best je still leh duk umah relax tak payah tensen wat research cam aku tp still dorang tensen sbb dorang still tak dpt keje yang sesuai. So pendek kata, bersyukur la dengan apa yang ada, sesungguhnya Tuhan tu lebih mengetahui perihal rezeki hamba-hambaNya. Terasa cam ustazah la plak...hehehe....

Anyway, hidup kena diteruskan. masa depan, takde sape yang tau. So, use each and every moment wisely coz as someone very knowledgeable used to said, the things that is the farthest from us is the past time. no one can ever turn it back. So Wanie, get back on your feet and start moving forward, there is more to life you need to discover.

Good night readers!

Birthday girls!

2011-05-23T14:15:00.001+08:00

I'm officially 23. It does sound weird when you wish yourself a happy birthday but who cares?! The celebration had been done earlier in order to make it fair between me and my BFF who apparently celebrate her 23rd birthday on the same month but earlier than me. It's a close celebration, very small, only to those who close to me but loving it. The cake is awesome even though not a Secret Recipe.

I don't know where they bought it but it's delicious. Can't get enough of it!

We're d May girls! My BFF birthday falls on 5th May~

Papa John's pizza is awesome too!

The funny thing is I didn't buy her any present yet since she didn't tell me what she wants. We want to avoid d hard work of thinking what to buy for each other's present and decide to just tell if you want something for present. At least I know that she love the present. Yesterday, we do another celebration, and this time it's in Secret Recipe. Just go there, eat and laugh. Their wishes to me is funny. I laugh my heart out with them. Thank you girls!

The cake we have yesterday. My all time fave New York Cheesecake! There are also CHocolate Indulgance for Miss Erin, Hazel Cheesecake for Atip, Pecan Butterscotch for Eza and Moist Chocolate Cake for Sab!

Sebenarnya on birthday g dh tulis entry ni tp lupa nk upload, jadi kao ada confusion pasal tarikh tu, harap maklum la ye.

inner me

2011-05-16T09:19:00.003+08:00

Seriously I really want to be a really good person, with pure heart but I can't. Sometimes I think that I'm a very awful person. I'm not a good Muslim, daughter, student, teacher, friend, sister, I'm not even a good human being. There's too much darkness in me, sometimes I feel sorry for the person all around me. I really wanna change everything but I'm just not strong enough to change myself. Guess that my heart had been trained well enough for a long time to not have heart, and to think only about myself.

I'm a cynical, dishonest, big-headed, stubborn, hot-tempered person, I just don't know if there's any good personality in me. Conflict with inner self is too tiring, too complicated. I'm sorry to everyone around me, I know my attitude hurts too many people, I'm aware of that. I try to change, to be a much more better person. I don't know if I ever be successful on doing that but I'll keep on trying. Sorry.

my weekend gateaway~

2011-05-15T16:32:00.004+08:00

I spent the whole day at Sunway Pyramid yesterday! Didn't buy much things since my plan was spoil by the lateness of my allowance! Pissed off! But still we proceed with the plan of having fun in Sunway.

I end up bought a bag, I have a lot of bags already but still I buy another one. It's pretty! To me at least, I fall in love at first sight with it. It's not expensive, still below RM100. Next, watching 2 movies at TGV. Kongsi and Priest 3D. First time watching 3D though. Weird thing is I didn't feel giddy watching the 3D movie but the normal one. I wonder why?

Kongsi is average I would say. Sam is amazing as ever, just that the story line is a lil bit boring and there are lack of continuation of the good part. When u're about to get excited and the story line seems to be great, it just fall flat. Sorry Farid, better try next time. I yawn a couple of time. Enough said.

Priest is not bad, at least I didn't yawn. It's just that it didn't offer any extra thrill, just normal action movie. Is that really how vampire look like? I stick with Edward. Anyway, there's a lot of trailer that makes me feel that I must watch the upcoming movies.

My long awaited Nur Kasih the Movie, my cous said it's great. Sekali Lagi, bring up three fave actor/actresses nowadays, Sam, Lisa and the cute Mia! Can't wait for that! Transformers, the never fail to impress movie, I really wanna watch this in 3D, it will be much more awesome! not forgetting the ever macho Aaron Aziz in KL Gangster...wahhh, so much to see....~~

And yes, BEAST is going to hold a fan meeting here in July! Money2...where to find extra money, I want to meet maknae Dong Woon who really I think look like a Malaysian! And this is how I spent my weekend~ No pics, malas nak upload any.Bye.

I wish....

2011-05-02T17:55:00.002+08:00

Out of all the anonymous readers that been reading my post, I hope that you're one of them Mr. Y...This is the only way I can tell you how I really feel. I never want to change my number as I hope one day, you give me the chance I've been waiting. A chance to face you and apologize. I do sound pathetic, no? Forgive the silly and immature me. I'm stubborn by the way...^^

Have a good day readers!

It's May!

2011-05-02T12:32:00.003+08:00

My first entry in May. May is here and you know what that means? It means that I'll be 23 soon enough. And I always complaint about being old day by day. I'm just ungrateful, didn't I? Well, I am. There's a lot will be happening in May. My bestie birthday, mother's day, teacher's day...

I'm confused on what to get for her, so we have decided to just ask each other what you really want to have and bought it, no need for surprise since we'll end up having headache.

A lot have been happening lately and I don't know where to start. First of all, I got my new dream baby. A smartphone! Have been thinking bout it, confused between two but I end up choosing galaxy SL. And I love it, it's perfect!

And yes, another issue. 24:7, Malaysia first kpop group. What the heck??? You guys not even fair enough to be one. By showing your body and make a love sign, you can call yourself a kpop group? The koreans gonna kill themselves if they see you guys. Just be a normal band, a Malaysian band. U guys not even Korean for god sake. So, quit it.

human that'll never satisfied with anything

2011-04-23T17:39:00.002+08:00

This can be considered as ungrateful, since we all are called plain human, this is normal. I'm jealous of students who have to study and now struggling very hard for their final examination. Not bragging bout doesn't have to take any examination but once I left the time where I'm a student who always need to take examination, I kinda miss the feeling of struggling hard, scanning through the notes, past years exam paper, all the quizzes, discussing seriously each of the past year question, it's tiring but the satisfaction is there. I don't know if I'm weird but I really miss that.

People will think that it's so much fun when you don't have to attend any classes or take any examination so you can relax. yeah, right! I've tried it and I tell you, it's not fun especially for person who can't really straighten up their lives like me. Things that look fun at first, will not be exactly as what you expected.

When I was young, and rebellious teenager, I always wanted to study far away from home so that I can have freedom. What's more fun than freedom?!! Being able to live your life the way you want it and can be far away from your nagging parents and annoying siblings, it's heaven for god sake! Now, I realise that it does feel good for a moment but at last you begin to understand that there's no place like home. Home is where you have to listen to your parents babbling, put up with your crazy siblings but in the end, eat dinner happily together and laugh. Together with people who really cares about you, know you inside and out and accept you the way you are, that's family!

I haven't felt that quite a long time now. I miss my years as degree students struggling like crazy for examination and I miss my family very much. But my research restricts me from being where my heart wants to be. Mum, dad...I want to be with you but I can't. I'll hang on over here, I'll be back soon.

To all other students especially UiTM students who will undertake the final examination, I wish you all the best! And yes, appreciate every moment of it. Good luck!

emo

2011-04-20T09:46:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, just sometimes I wish people can listen to others thought and feeling, then we wouldn't have to tell them in person that they suck and hurting you. It's tiring enough that you have your own problem, facing crazy psycho moody people is like taking another research again! It doesn't feel that bad but believe me, for people like me, that's like crazy!

You can't live alone, I guess that's what you have to put up with. I acted that bad also, so can't put the blame on other people, I understand how it feels when you're moody. You don't want to treat other people badly but it's uncontrollable. But still, it does hurt.

RAIN is here, but it's damn HOT!

2011-04-12T00:38:00.006+08:00

I have like the most amazing night of my live. My first experience going to concert and it is RAIN concert! I mean like, crazy! I guess people already know how much I love kpop so it is a big thing for me. Main event is the Formula 1, but since we arrived late and so much drama going on, I don't want to remember all that. The most important thing is RAIN is in front of me, like 3meters away from me!

I'm super excited but to tell you the truth, I'm not a big fan of Rain, I barely know his songs cause I first know him as an actor in Full house, the sweet drama with the very beautiful Song Hye Kyo (I wish they are really together). But who cares if I don't know all his songs, I still know some and I enjoyed myself. He's an awesome performer. His dance move is awesome, great songs, great everything! I'm being biased, I know.

But really, such a big star like him, performing in this little country, it doesn't feel like he's taking this concert lightly. I can really feel the effort he put in, and I know he give his best that night. Such a down-to-earth star, no wonder he received a lot of love from his fans.

He's hot, no? If u think so, he's ten times hotter in person!
This may sound gedik but sometimes when he sings and look at the crowd, it does feel like he look at me...*melting already*
Ji-hoon oppa, u're daebak!!!

Pardon our blur face, the back is what important!

Imagine what's gonna happen if Big Bang or 2PM come here for concert. I'll faint!

my freaking awesome day

2011-04-11T00:45:00.001+08:00

too tired to update on my awesome today, maybe tomorrow or the day after.....but, freaking awesome!

Till next, bye. I need to sleep rite now.

rambling friday

2011-04-08T22:56:00.002+08:00

For me, my blog is where I pour my heart, talking bout what happen in my daily life, people I met, people I love, my ups and downs. Everything bout me is here.

To my mum, thank you for your trust. This daughter of yours might not be as bright as others but one thing for sure, I won't let you down. I love you.

To my dear bestie, Atip. Thank you for being patient with my weird attitude. No one understands me like you do. Love you so much.

I have people who love me by my side. What else would I ask for? Accept for to see and meet Big Bang and 2PM, I have no other request. Heee....... ^^

girl and shopping

2011-04-06T12:58:00.002+08:00

As a girl (woman makes me feel older), shopping is a MUST. Thus, I can't wait for my stuff to arrive home. What is it? Bag? Shoes? Perfume? Nope. There are seven altogether.

Big Bang's maknae, Seungri album. The songs are awesome! Truly VVIP.

If you buy Seungri VVIP album, this one is also a must. Welcome to V World. The making of this awesome album and plus other extra things just for VIP!

Welcome to V World.

Next is the leader and charismatic member of Big Bang, G-Dragon and T.O.P's album.

GD and TOP make a perfect collaboration. Funky catchy, awesome songs.

Like always, if you buy their album, so this item is also a must. Play with GD and TOP. Also making dvd of their album. Behind the scene, personal message, photobook etc etc....

Play with GD & TOP. Totally worth it.

Since all the album above are about Big Bang member, so you must also get their 4th mini album since they make a comeback after long awaited 2 years and 3 months!

Big Bang 4th Mini Album. They just getting better and better.

And they announce a special edition album with extra songs which has not been officially release yet, a few teaser of their new song has been release for their countdown. Totally a must have!

It is in green colour. It comes with a special packaging. Nice!

And last but not least, being a HOTTEST (fan for 2PM), this is also a must. Since we have no idea when we are able to watch this with our own eyes.

Can't wait for this, 2PM hwaiting!

How much are all of these cost me? Doesn't matter, its priceless!
Worth all the awesome tracks and performance.

So, this is how girl spent their money. Nope. Not all. Just me and few others. No shoes by the way. =P

sometimes I just wish I can

2011-03-31T23:30:00.003+08:00

My heart ache, do you know that?
For so many times, I try hard to protect what we have
You don't see that, don't you?
Can't you feel my heart?
Can't you see my pain?
It burn inside
It kills me every minute I try to ignore my own anger
Maybe I should say it in front of you
I'm tired
I want to stop trying
To be someone you always wanted
This is me
And I'm selfish
Thank you
And yes, I'm not a good friend

aku suka kpop boys, so what?!

2011-03-27T00:13:00.002+08:00

I'm not being biased but sometimes I think that some people just so close minded. First, I hate the impression that girls who love kpop band just love them because they're beautiful boys. Oh gosh! You guys just never know, didn't you? Each of them trained so hard for a couple of years before they debut. They sharpen their singing skills, dancing skill, that's why they're all-rounder! Yes, they have looks, so what?! Is it wrong to be beautiful boys? Their voice and songs are great too. Some even trained for 6 to 7 years before they debut as singer, and you simply said that they have no talent and just looks?!!! I'm pissed off. Sure do.

How many local artist who trained as hard as them before being a singer? 3 months? Or just by winning a reality show? I'm not saying that local artist is not good, it just that don't simply accused something you didn't know. They worked hard, they respect their senior, that's why they last long. And us? Think about it first before you say something. Take the good from their example, if not, just shut up and continue with what ever you're doing, so called singing or acting. You don't even know how to read music notes and those boys produced their own songs.

for you my dear sister

2011-03-23T17:19:00.002+08:00

Bila time result SPM keluar je, teringat zaman dulu-dulu time amik result. Berdebar, cuak, semua ada la, tak payah cakap. Malam takleh tidor, esok plak rasa cam jalan tak pijak tanah je bila masuk pintu gate sekolah. Semua tu kenangan manis. Happy jumpa kawan-kawan, tengok result, call orang, jumpa cikgu, tahniah itu, tahniah ini.....such a happy memory of school years. Sedar tak sedar, dah 6 tahun berlalu. Time flies. For my sister yang amik result today, whatever happen, I still love you as my sister. You might not be as bright as others but I want you to know that I'm always proud of you. Future is ahead, do what you love and I'll keep supporting you. Love you, sis!

movie review

2011-03-17T08:00:00.003+08:00

It's time for movie review since I've watch 2 movies this week, I think I wanna share some of my comment and opinion. But, I'm not a pro so whatever, it's just the view of normal person knowing little about movies and stuff. First up is I Am Number Four. There's nothing unpredictable about the story plot, the action is ok but I wouldn't say awesome. The starting is kinda slow, the action is so late, only a few moments before it ends. All in all, I think it's ok, not bad, not awesome either. Worth watching? For person who loves action, don't raise your expectation from this movie, for person like me? Worth watching.....the hero is handsome for sure...(^_^)

Next up is Rango. The chameleon cartoon character in quest for helping the town solving their water crisis. I guess global warming does take its toll on everything. Haha...I need to remind it again that this is only my opinion, if yours different from mine, than it's fine. People view it differently. I don't even laugh that much, and I'm sleepy. The storyline is boring, since I love cute stuff and my knowledge about animal kingdom is restricted, I have no idea what animals are in the story except for chameleon, turtle, snake, eagle, apart from that...hmmm. Worth watching? Hmmm.....I think about it again. Is it because I'm serious so I didn't laugh too much? My friend laugh so hard and I can't even smile. What's wrong with you Wanie? Well, in the end, I can only give 2 stars, that's more than enough. Sorry Johnny Depp, I guess you are funnier in human form rather than a chameleon.

average me but different~~

2011-03-14T18:17:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you just don't realize how lucky you are until someone told you their hardship on getting something and you go, "Oh, it wasn't that difficult for me", in your heart la for sure. It is always hard for me to give advise on student that you should study at least 6 hours per day, do a lot of exercises, and etc etc coz I didn't do that myself. I'm not boasting but I'm really not the type who study like crazy everyday. Most of my times I spent is for fun stuff like other normal students will do. But I got lucky that I've good teachers that make things very easy for me to understand.

I guess the problem now is not how much you study but whether you understand it or not. It's not all about memorizing, but more on emphasizing what is it actually. So far, I would say that most of the kids that I thought are very lazy to take a lil time to think bout what I teach and they end up making the same mistakes and forgetting on how to do things.

If you take a little time to think, you will save a lot of time memorizing it. You don't have to pun in fact. Some people have advantage on these kind of things but I always believe that in this world they are only two types of people, the one who was born as genius or the lazy one. God didn't create you as a stupid person, He gave you the same brain that most people have, effort is what makes you different from others.

Think about it for a moment. A message from not so brilliant or diligent me. I'm average but different.

the thought of 23 years old girl

2011-03-10T12:02:00.004+08:00

I just open my blog today, read up on other people update. Mostly people are talking about marriage. I know I've been writing bout what other ppl been thinking bout. Marriage? At one point, I've stop thinking bout that. But when you getting older and mature day by day, future is certainly something you keep thinking of. It's harder for single ladies since we don't even have a partner. So how? Been talking bout it with my best friend, since both of us is single, she always use the term 'single since born' to describe herself though. Haha!

I want to get married for sure, but when I'm gonna be ready? I can't answer that. I'm excited bout the thought of marriage but when come to think bout the responsibility, hmmm.....I can't even take care of myself properly yet, how to take care of other people's son meh? In laws also scared me, blame the media who always portray in laws as scary as that, sometimes it does feel like a witch. I know I've been ridiculous. Haih!

Marriage is of course something beautiful and exciting but the responsibility comes with it is too huge and I don't think I'm ready yet. The thought of 23 years old girl. I'm sure I'm gonna laugh at myself if I read it back after 10 years. Hopefully by that time, I'm already married and have kids!

the big annoying 'WHEN' questions

2011-03-07T23:21:00.004+08:00

Just visiting around the blogs which I've been followed. Reading about other people story, their views on something is quite interesting. My dear, Tikah mention something bout people and their annoying question of "when". She's right. I do feel the same way. You can never ever stop them from asking you the question as if we never achieve anything in our life.

People will keep asking me, when I'm gonna finish my study. Well, I'll make a press conference once I finish my study, ok? And yes, the favourite question of all time, when am I gonna get married? Hmmmm......if you guys have any suitable candidate for me, sure, on the spot also can. Heh....you think easy is it to get married? End up with a wrong guy is a nightmare so just let me establish myself first and able to give my all to my parent.

All in all, everything is just a plan. The One up high knows better than anyone else so, if I happen to get married earlier, I'll publish the invitation card in the paper, ok? Hahaha...\(^_^)/

Really? I hope that wouldn't be my case...

Memories

2011-03-06T22:58:00.003+08:00

For me, the boy band in 90's are DAEBAK!!! I mean, the best! Maybe it sound cheesy now but I grew up listening to their songs and even now, when ever I heard the song, it bring back memories of childhood. The times when I'm still a student back in school, we used to have the lyric books for all the fave songs. Cut a lot of pics of them, paste it in the books. And yes, the famous name card where you can choose the layout, most of the times, it will be the boy band for sure. Still, I never got one, 3ringgit is just too expensive that time!

Name it, I love them all. They are the Bieber of my time!

They may look cheesy now in the picture but back then, they were like the hottest guys on Earth! Still hot now also....

Heart Scott! *wink wink*

N'Sync....love JC! People said he's gay, but we love the song still~~~

Ok, they may not as famous as others above and not so 90's boy band, but I heart them. Ben, I love you and your hair!

And not forgetting our very own local artiste, KRU!

Me and my heart

2011-03-04T10:22:00.004+08:00

Not gonna happen this time. Shouldn't be. I can't let it be. I guess when you are getting older, things get more complicated and serious. I'm just 23 and I already worried about so many things. That's normal. Sometimes you just don't understand the plan God has for you but I guess we can just wait and see. It's beyond the control and power of us. So, I'm gonna wait and see. There's so much to explore and I know there's more to life. I guess it's just nature. I can't even understand my heart. I have no idea what I'm whining about. Typical me.....~~~ Miss home, miss mum and dad.

And yes, Happy 23rd birthday to my dear housemate, Tuan Sharifah Mas Eza......you are older than me! Have a nice birthday and we go and celebrate it later k!

friendship day, today???

2011-02-25T09:24:00.007+08:00

the forever young at heart -A.W.A.T.I.F-

We meet by fate and chance
Together we create a beautiful memories
The one we never forget
The days with you guys
The rainbow that we paint together
It still there in my heart
As beautiful as ever

the laugh initiator -F.A.T.I.N-

The laughter that we share
The tears that we shed
It teach us to appreciate
To love and to care
To accept weakness
To know that some things are beyond words
Beyond action, but
It's there always

the last Malay girl on Earth, ahakz! -A.T.I.K.A.H-

I thank God for this chance
The day you guys cross my life path
And make me realize
That life is about sharing
Loving, caring and accepting
May this bond stay forever
And together
We'll create more colours of tomorrow

Then life
Is complete.

The rainbow of my heart -R.A.D.O.X-

this is dream come true!

2011-02-21T12:30:00.002+08:00

It's been quite a long time since I updated the blog, not busy but lazy. It's almost the end of the month, the money is running really low and all of that can really spoil the mood... A good news has arrived! Big Bang and 2NE1 is coming here!!! Omoo......can you imagine that? A hardcore dedicated kpop fan like me will be so damn happy to hear this! Big Bang and 2NE1, even though they are not the first kpop band for me, but they are awesome. The songs are great, so great that I can listen to it 24/7! June 4th....here we come~~~~

We gonna take a lot of pictures and will sing along, and probably cry due to over excitement..who cares??? To see them live is like a dream come true~~~ Can't wait! Better start saving now.... we're gonna but first class ticket for sure, so close!!!!! Yeeehaaaa............

They may be not the most handsome boy band and pretty girl group but the song is awesome!
Big Bang and 2NE1!

Experience on Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T15:59:00.003+08:00

What is interesting today? I've gained a new experience, I've met an absolutely brilliant person and we became friends. I like the word friends that he said. The person is a 'he'. Yes, you read it right. He's an absolutely great person, a thinker, a motivator, every word that he said is a knowledge. he made me realize that no matter what we do, don't be scared of people. Never underestimate yourself, you're a better that what you think you are. Be confident and bold. For the right reason and at the right time la.

I love this post and yes, it's for the Valentine's Day!

"If you sleep with your lover on 14th of Feb (Valentine's Day), your lover will give you good news on 21st of March (Mother's Day) and you'll gonna have kids on 14th of November (Children's Day), and if you look from the medical aspect, you're advise not to try this on ALL of your LOVERS because you'll gonna receive bad news on 1st of December (World AIDS Day). *credit*

Baby, I love you as long as you don't give me kids! Even if you did, just dump them in the drain.

Marvelous! Get the message? I don't believe in Valentine's Day, but I didn't condemn those who did, it's your choice. You got brain, use it. Option is what you created. As a Muslim, we celebrate the birth of our lover, the one and only, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. We've been missing you all this time, I pray that we'll meet in the afterlife. You're always with us, thank you for the priceless guidance and love.

lost

2011-02-10T15:08:00.002+08:00

Love like you've never been hurt
Live like you're in heaven on Earth
Work like you don't need the money

Not my words of course, already forget who said it. Nice quote, easy to read than done. If only people can really do that, life will be much easier and simpler. You don't need quote to get you moving. It takes baby steps, I believe you know it's not as easy as it sound. I think for me, I should add something more.

Study like you never need the degree!

Yeah, sure.

Sometimes I think I fear things that should not be scared of
Sometimes I think I worried bout thing that shouldn't be worried of
Sometimes I think I believe that I think too much of ridiculous stuff
Sometimes? Nope. All the times.

Courage, courage...where are you rite now?

policeman of my heart...I heart you!

2011-02-10T00:01:00.002+08:00

Happy 49th birthday dad! You're the best I could ever ask for. Sometimes I think you didn't treat me like your 23 years old daughter but more like a 5 years old, but anyway, I like it. Being an adult is tiresome, I love being me when I'm with you.

Dad,
If I can ask for something, I'll ask a better daughter for you. I'm not the best one, and probably can never be one. But I'll promise with you, no matter what, I'll always be with you throughout my life. I remember the day I kissed your cheek before I went to sleep, I remember the day you told me that no matter hard it is, I am your priority. I remember the day your hands glide through my hair and wipe away the tears, and promise me nothing bad will happen.

Dad,
I know you're not reading this but I still want to tell you how much you means to me and I love you from the day I was born until the end. There's only one king in my heart, and it's you. Thank you for being you. No words are enough to describe you, no tears are enough to show how much I miss you and love you. This is the very least I can do for you.

One thing that I scared the most is the day I break your heart with my words or my action. I pray that day will never come and let me bear in my heart and my mind of existence of such figure in my life. A father.

Let the whole world knows that I have you. The policeman of my heart! Forever....

p/s: I always think that the reason you never had a chance to be rich is because of me. Sorry dad! Heee....

so what's the big deal?

2011-02-09T13:40:00.002+08:00

Gi Kwang is cute in Bad Girl. Jun Hyung is cool in Beautiful. Dong Woon is perfect in everything! They're my stress killer now. And yes, they're Korean, beautiful boys. So what? Their song is addicting, it's not all about the looks you know. It does play an important role, the looks I mean but if the song is no-no, than it's the end la. Kpop boys to girls are like Naruto to boys!

People said, you should support local scene. I do. But I guess instead of urging people to support them, think bout why oh why it's hard for them to survive. Is it the song? Management? I don't blame anyone but I'm tired when people start to say local ppl didn't support local music scene. It's not like dat, not for me la. It's just dat, it's lacking in something. I don't know what it is.

I'm proud to be Malaysian and if anyone offer me to change citizenship to Korean pun, I don't want to. I love korean boys, their music, but I'm still Malaysian, didn't forget where I came from yet. So instead of pointing fingers, do something, and while waiting for that, let these boys entertain me with their smiles, and yes, songs!

random thought of not-so-complicated me!

2011-02-09T12:58:00.002+08:00

It's funny when I came to think about how things around us always happen exactly the way we want it to be but at the wrong time. How you finish your work but your lecturer forget to pick it up and said that it's ok to send it later, how you want to download thesis related to your research but the server went down, but then it can be downloaded in a blink of an eye when you just don't feel like reading it. Stuff does happen, aite?

It makes life unpredictable, so what's the point of thinking about of your future then? We'll just never know what's gonna happen next. At times, life seems to be ruthless, but when you look back and found someone who in the same situation as yours but with different mindset, it makes you wonder whether it is really that bad? Or was it actually a blessing in disguise? Who knows better rather than our creator, no?

I salute people who finds joy in doing stuff people to be precise me, think that it's hard. Nobody said that life gonna be easy. People come and go, sometimes they leave you an impression, sometimes they just passed by and forgotten. Sometimes they stay forever. Look around and stop for a moment, step back and sometimes you'll see things more clearly. But if you don't, just keep going forward, because things sometimes come from the front rather than back!

When you think only bout yourself, u're selfish, if you think bout others, u're judgmental. Face it, no one perfect, we are selfish and judgmental. Nobody's perfect. How can you balance those two? At a time, I can't. You know what? No worry, u're perfectly normal!

mixed up!

2011-02-09T09:08:00.004+08:00

Aku rasa nak update blog tapi xtau nak citer ape, bleh? Banyak bnda yang dah jadi, ye la, camtu baru namanya idup kan? Kalau aku asyik citer pasal thesis aku yg tak pernah surut tu, aku pun da bosan rasanya, jadi selain itu, aku pun takde bnda nak citer sangat.

Bulan ni dah genap 2 tahun rupanya aku berblogging ni. Aku pun tak ingat cena aku ni leh involve bnda2 gini, agaknya time tu tgh trend, so aku pun ikot je la. Lagi pun, kalo nak arap aku tulis tangan letak dalam diari yg cam time skolah2 dlu, tak kuasa aku. Jadi baik guna teknologi yang ada ni kan.

Pe lagi ye? Hmmm....aku ada satu wish yang aku arap2 sgt akan dapat, tak kesah la dalam masa trdekat ke panjang ke tapi arap2nya sebelom aku tua la kot sbb malu kalo dah tua2 nak wat cmtu. Heh....pe wish tu? Biarlah rahsia dulu, dah dpt baru citer, kalo x, malu....

I wish I can talk to that person for the last time. I should do it when I got the chance before but I didn't. My ego is killing me and now, I'm hoping for one chance, only one, to tell him one thing that I've kept to myself for so long. Only then, I can say goodbye....

I'm so mixed up! I hate it, other ppl hate it, but I'm scared of the possibilities.

I love K!

2011-02-06T23:12:00.004+08:00

I'm busy but somehow I like it. I feel I did something useful with my time rather that just lying around doing nothing. I have a new student now, my dear Bieber look alike niece. Her mum asked me to help her with Math, I have no problem with it. I might not be a good teacher but I can help her a lil bit I guess. Gosh! I never thought that I will teach Math to anyone, it is the most impossible subject back in my high school but guess we can never predict what's gonna happen in future, right? The person you hate so much can be the one you love one day, just like Math!

I dream of someone last night, my love. Hehe...but I can't remember what it is, but doesn't matter, he keep me smiling all day. Love ya K! I miss you so much and please come here as soon as possible. Take care and good luck, my love will always be with you. I love you, K!

Love is like a cup of coffee. You'll be addicted. I don't like coffee but I guess you're my caffein!

crush....

2011-02-04T21:11:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, in the midst of all the works you have to do, there's a reward waiting. You're already busy as hell and yet you have to wait for some unknown strangers to setup the Unifi at your house. Not to mention barely alone, it's suck. But, then...hmmm.....not bad. Worth the waiting and all. Enough to make me smile watching them, 3 of them.

I'm just rambling nonsense now. Tired of reading and writing thesis. Need a break and those guys just suddenly appear in my mind and made my day. Crush!

Can't wait to hang out with the girl who remind me of Beyonce, Hana....come home fast, tell me all the big stories.

my fave!

2011-02-04T15:57:00.003+08:00

I can watch NCIS like forever! FOX been showing non-stop NCIS everyday and most of the times, the same episode but I can still watch it anyway. The casts are awesome, I can't choose any fave among them. It wouldn't be NCIS if one of them is missing. Yes, I heart it so very much!

Gibbs is cool. Tony is crazy and funny. Ziva is hot. McGee is brilliantly geek, awesome. Abby is unique. Ducky is so full of philosophy. Awesome, super duper team. Love them. Can't wait for new season tomorrow!

Miss them!

2011-02-02T20:17:00.003+08:00

I miss my mum! My dad! My lil sisters and brother of course. I miss the times I went home and hugs her and kissed her a lot. I guess I tend to forget that she's a big girl now. To me she's always my little sister, always adik! Haih....wat to do? There's a lot of stuff going on, I can't go home now. I miss them so very much.

Dark time now for a brighter future tomorrow....=)

2011-01-28T09:40:00.006+08:00

Ok now it's time to get serious. I'm so run out of time due to my laziness. Who to blame? No one other than myself. So many things to read, so many things to understand and learn within such a short period. (Actually, with my laziness, no amount of time will be enough!). Now I realize how simple my life is during my Bachelor degree time compared to now. So many people to meet and contact, so many places I need to go to, so many everything!

It will be the hardest time of my life now but I guess this is a valuable experience. And I know somehow, I'll make it through this and look back and said, "Well Wanie, you're really a grown up now." Everything will fall apart once I give up so, let's go Wanie! Gather your strength and you'll make it to the end. Yes, next year, you'll be receiving your Masters degree. InsyaAllah! It's all in you, you've got everything you need. Just endure it for a just a bit more ok?

I know I'm on the right path now! Success, here I come, wait for mummy k? =)

Ignorant brats!

2011-01-26T12:41:00.002+08:00

Sometimes people are just so ignorant! I just want to have a piece and tranquil time at the library, reading and going through my journals and books which I don't always have the motivation to do so. But there are always people in the library that you'll find annoying and they didn't even realize it! And sometimes I feel like I just want to give them a piece of my mind or even better, just slap them!

Commenting about people stuff and acting like know-it-all person, reading things loudly as if other people do not know how to read them and just keep blabbering about unimportant, stupid stuff. Not too mention, singing! It's better when they just do sign language. Can I just tape their mouth?!! Especially when you sit facing them!

Patient Wanie. Maybe they never been in library before. Pity them. Not!

Senpai!

2011-01-24T09:35:00.006+08:00

Patutnya post bnda ni sebaik sahaja lepas kejadian tapi disebabkan orang tm tu blom sempat datang pasang tenet jadi trpaksa la tnggu ari isnin baru citer. Dah kurang la sikit perasaan berbunga tu. Hehe...~

Akhirnya lepas 2 tahun lebih, jumpa balik orang yg selalu aku usha time karate dulu. Ni secret admire dulu, semangat nak g training karate sebab dia je. Kepada sesape yang tak tau, aku dulu amik karate ye utk 2 sem time degree dulu, tapi malas g grading. Walaupun grading kena wat kata je, bkn kumite pun. Dah namanya pun malas. Karate ni pun ade mazhab2nye, tapi kalo UiTM, ikot mazhab Shito-ryu, yang nampak lembut tapi powerful, kira gayanya banyak yg sopan santun dah lemah lembut tapi kalo attack, mmg full force la. Don't judge a karate style by its look ye. Heh!

Tapi aku still wonder nape dia blom black belt lg? Rasanya aktif jugak dia ni.

Nape aku suka tgk dia? Entah, rasanya takde la hensem pun tapi ade something kat dia yg wat aku rasa tak leh nak pandang bnda lain. Gatal! Nama pun admire kan, so bila dah jumpa kena la tangkap gambar skali. Nampak muka excited tu? Malu aku!

Excited plus malu.

Ronnie hanya senpai karate yang saya pernah admire dulu. Admire lagi skarang tapi takde la makna apa-apa pun. Cuma something yang wat aku tersenyum bila2 aku teringat. Good luck senpai! I wish you all the best for your love in karate. Bangga lak penah jadi UiTM Shito-ryu karateka.

Shito-ryu karate

Haircut anyone?

2011-01-19T15:53:00.003+08:00

This one article in The News Straits Times attract my attention. Written by Juneita Johari. I find it amusing and at the same time makes me think about the simple thing for us but hardly impossible for other special children.

"HAIRCUTS and hairstyles have never been a simple thing in my family of three sons and a daughter.

Eldest son Omar won’t sit still for a haircut. Second son Othman insists on going blonde and keeping a mohawk. Youngest son does not want his hair cut. And my only daughter wants long, blue hair.

For my eldest, it has always been a challenge. Of course, it was much easier when he was a baby because we could manage, or rather restrict the bobbing head, but not when he grew older, not to mention stronger.

One would not have thought about such things until one is challenged with it — how to give special children haircuts.

I have tried giving Omar haircuts at home. For a long time I could not find a barber who could give him a good haircut. In those days, nearly some 20 years ago, I thought that boys went to barbers and girls to hair salons. It never occurred to me that men also sought the skills of hairstylists. So, for years, from the time Omar was a toddler to about six years, he had to suffer the untrained skills of his mama’s scissors. Omar and Othman would have what some people called the “Friar Tuck” (a character from Robin Hood) hairstyle. Some would call it the pudding-bowl haircut, others would more kindly refer to it as the “page boy”. It wasn’t so bad for Othman who eventually settled for a crew cut.

It wasn’t that I did not like my sons to look good. It was because there was not a barber I knew who was patient and kind enough for Omar, a physically and mentally challenged child who could not understand instructions such as “sit still!” He would turn to look left, right, or sharply move his head in the opposite direction when a sound attracted his attention. Also, because he had autistic tendencies, he tended to move his head from side to side, humming. Sometimes he would roll his head the way you would in warm-up exercises. He would flinch at the sound of snipping scissors or the buzz of an electric razor. His hands were never still.

If the barber’s hand was a bit too firm in holding his head still, he would let out a high-pitch shrill that could make you deaf. By that time, he would be unsettled and bad tempered, sliding off the high chair before an upset barber. Then he would roll on the floor, which was littered with snipped hair, much of which would get into his mouth, eyes and ears, or get stuck on his body. He would start scratching his face and eyes, trying to remove the hair. I always carried sanitised wet tissues, but they came in handy only up to a point. I would pay the barber his fees even though the haircut was incomplete, put Omar in the car and drive home. On a bad day, I may even get bitten, punched or kicked by Omar before managing to get him out of the barber’s and into the car. When we reached home, he would have to be quickly bathed to get those strands of hair off him.

Omar has such a thick and silky head of hair. I have gone through a few pairs of scissors, always looking for the perfect pair so I would not of cut my fingers. Quite a few times have I had my fingers nicked. I can certainly identify with Edward in the movie Edward Scissorhands, who was often plastered with band-aids. It wasn’t until I was at my hairdresser Annita’s that I found the solution. As usual Annita would ask how I was. As she lathered shampoo on me, I could feel the stress evaporating and I would tell her about Omar. She suggested that I brought Omar to her. After all, she was an experienced and skilled hairstylist. Her salon was also unisex. I brought Omar to her the very next day and witnessed her work her magic. It was not just about skill. It was the way she managed Omar. She was calm and spoke in a very soothing way. If Omar was skittish and nervous, she would calm him down. I could not remember what she said, but I did remember feeling calm. It was as though she had all the time in the world for Omar. No rush. No pressure. Before I knew it, she was done — in about half an hour, and Omar would be having a beautiful haircut. No tears, no spitting or biting, and certainly no rolling on the floor. I had tears in my eyes, so heartfelt was my appreciation and gratitude. Omar looked good and was not traumatised. From then on, we went to Annita’s for years, even though she changed her business location.

When Omar began going to the centre for special children, a group of hairdressers used to drop by to cut all the students’ hair for free every alternate month. They had wanted to do charity work and this was the way they best knew. The parents and the committee members were grateful. We looked forward to the hairdressers’ visits, and many of the children enjoyed taking part. These stood as among the simple acts of kindness that may not even occur to most of us. The children always looked good with these professional hairstyles, and for their parents, it was one task less.

Omar now gets his haircut from Mei Ling at her home salon. When Omar is unwell, Mei Ling will make house calls. And it is not just the service. Mei Ling also has a special rapport with Omar. She is calm but chatty and knows how to manage Omar. Once or twice she was caught off-guard and cut her fingers, like when Omar moved suddenly to scratch the itch on his nose. We also discovered the effectiveness of putting on a thin raincoat on Omar instead of the light plastic sheet. It has not been easy, but there is much laughter when we recall the episodes. A bad hair day is sometimes just that, bad hair. We learn through trial and error. A small but kind gesture can lighten a person’s life for quite a while."

Credit to Juneita Johari in NST, 15th Jan 2011.

I'm not sure if I can be one of those mothers. I admire them! Seriously!

p/s: thinking about getting a hair cut suddenly!

Zaman muda- mudi dulu!

2011-01-16T19:57:00.003+08:00

Baru abis layan power rangers! Gila teringat memori zaman kanak2. Power rangers dulu2 lg best dari yg baru ni, walaupun efek2 dorang takde la power cam skarang. Muka aku ni, cam budak yg tgk power rangers ke? Hakhak.....u'll never know.

Aku ni international beb, bak kata ayahanda tercinta. Ape pun leh layan janji, aku rasa best. Bdk2 yg lahir ujung2 tahun 80-an cam aku ni, mesti ingat citer2 power rangers ni. Sume time tu rasa diri ni power rangers btol2. Kalo main ngan adik, dorang kena jadik orang jahat, aku je yg leh jadik power rangers. Bongoks lak bila tringat zaman tu.

Ade gak yg lain dlu, zaman Sailormoon, Ultraman Taro, Power Rangers, Cybercop, Flashman, byk yg jepong la selalunya. Korang yg sebaya ngan aku, takyah la nak tipu kata tak tgk citer ni. Korang pun same je kan? Hehe.... Ingat g lagu opening Power Rangers dulu, go go Power Rangers, the mighty morphin power rangers! (tipu kalo korang tak ingat!)

Tok nenek pya Power Rangers.

Power Rangers Turbo next.

Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue. Hensem!

Power Rangers in Space.

Yang ni pun febret gak dulu. Flashman.

Dulu2 rasa smart btol Cybercop ni. Memang canggih abis la.

Budak2 skrang kenal Ultraman Taro? Ni la ultraman pujaan ati dulu.

Ni dak2 pompuan suka la, laki tak layan.
Dengan kuasa bulan akan menghukum mu! (trademark ayat Sailormoon)

Aku nak sewa cd cita2 ni bleh? Best plak bila dah tua bangka ni tengok cita2 kartun zaman dulu2. Ada sapa nak bg sewa? Hehehe....=P

Sinking ship? Certainly not mine.

2011-01-12T16:43:00.003+08:00

Old English proverb says "Nothing like old wine and old friend"

It's right! I don't know bout old wine but old friend is sure something you appreciate. Haha. You guys dah tua. 23 tahun! Certainly old friends.

Tetiba rindu zaman kami dulu. Geng radox, 5577. Macam2 nama ada. Nothing can replace old friendship.

Unexplainable. Unstoppable.

2011-01-12T16:20:00.002+08:00

I really have no intention of continuing what we have before.

It's just too stressful for both of us.

Too hurtful for me, too burdensome for him.

Too hard for everyone else.

I'm just a girl. I fall in love. I break my heart.

That's just a cycle. I accept it.

Really. It's just that I wish we ended up in a better way.

Not totally disconnected. And left everything.

Unexplainable.

Sometimes I do miss the times we talk on phone.

It makes my heart beat faster and smiling in my sleep.

It's just a memory.

Sometimes it recalled itself.

Just that.

I'm sorry

2011-01-12T14:51:00.002+08:00

Suddenly, I realize how these kind of things affect the person

Maybe, when we're the one doing it, you didn't feel it

But once, you're the subject, you'll know

No matter how awful things are, or how annoying you are

I guess it does leave a scar

I've been doing it for all this while

I've hurt so many heart with it

I'm sorry. My bad.

Ini Ipin.

2011-01-09T15:21:00.004+08:00

Khas utk seorang kawan. Terima kasih. Tiada perkataan untuk menggambarkan kami. Cuma kami gembira bersama dan saya sayang dia macam kawan baik yang lain.

Ipin. Sori curik gambar...=P

Mary Stayed Out All Night

2011-01-08T18:56:00.003+08:00

Gila cita ni! Mary Stayed Out All Night...best sgt2! Memang 2 thumbs up la. Taknak cakap banyak. Peminat drama korea, ni wajib tgk k. Tambah2 plak kalo minat Jang Geun Suk atau Kim Jae Wook.

Best!

First hero. Jang Geun Suk.

Second hero. Kim Jae Wook.

Selalunya aku tak kesah ngan second hero. Tak kesian pun tapi yang ni terasa berbelah bagi plak nak sokong sape. Satu lagi, memang tabik ngan suara Jang Geun Suk, sesuai sgt ngan lagu dalam cita ni, My Bus! Kalo dalam He's Beautiful tu kureng cket, yg dalam ni baru sedap dengar.

Sebab citer ni jugak, aku gilakan yang ni.

Samsung Galaxy S. Smart!

random thoughts

2011-01-06T23:58:00.003+08:00

A perfect life is impossible

No matter ow you want it to be, once you got it, there's always something more

I guess we never learn

To be contented with what we have

Problem is an never ending issue

No escape. Dead lock. Face and forget.

My curiosity sometimes killing me

I'm bad.

I'm sorry.

A New Beginning For A New Year!

2011-01-01T22:23:00.002+08:00

First entry on 2011....

Hmm....takde bnda nak cerita, just that I'll be back to battlefield in Shah Alam tomorrow. There's a lot of things awaiting for me there. And of course my dear supervisor, I'll see you soon k! Sbb I nak claim elaun. Hehe! Proposal jangan tanya lagi sbb correction tak siap lagi but I promise I will finish it as soon as possible.

Malas nak banyak cakap, apa2 pun I wish everyone a happy year ahead and I'll work hard. No more playing around, pinky promise!

Wonderful 2010.....Greater 2011!

2010-12-31T21:49:00.004+08:00

In a few hours lagi, dah bye-bye 2010, welcome 2011. Meaning that, there's a lot of things in the to-do list. I dah taknak buat new year resolution sbb dah tau sgt pe nak jadi. So, just ade to-do list (tak same ke?). Ok la, first of all, tahniah lagi kat Khairul Fahmi sbb dia ramai plak yg tgk blog ni sbb ade muka dia. Tumpang publisiti cket ye.

Ok la, back to the to do list. First, yang wajib diselesaikan ialah proposal, questionnaires and research analysis, siapkan thesis by the end of 2011 sbb nak konvo ujung tahun 2012. Nak tak nak, it's a must la kan. Next, duit utk pergi bersuka ria di Korea kena dah ada sbb finally nak beli tiket flight and wat passport! Yes! Can't wait for that.

Tadi tgk Oprah, ada cita pasal sorang wanita ni dari negara Zimbabwe, tak dapat nak belajar tapi tak give up and finally tak lama lagi dah nak dapat PhD. Aku? Orang bagi peluang, tak reti la nak gunakan elok-elok, main-main. Selalu aku rasa research ni satu beban, sambung belajar pun susah bukan sebab apa, tapi M.A.L.A.S! Penyakit ni memang deadly btol. Mau leh give up kalo layan lebih-lebih. So, disebabkan peluang yang ada ni jadi aku bertekad (semangat nih!) akan terus belajar sampai ke peringkat paling tinggi. That means bila dah abis my Masters degree ni, sambung lagi untuk PhD. I dah tak kesah dah kalo lambat kahwin ke, tak kahwin ke sbb bnda tu semua kan mmg dah ditentukan. Yang penting, kita sebagai manusia ni kena ambil peluang yang ada and guna sepenuhnya.

Setiap benda yang kita buat ada kesusahannya tersendiri, terpulang kita jugak cam mana nak handle. If you believe in yourself, you'll always win. We human, never know what we can do as we always stop ourselves from achieving greater things in life.

I want to do this thing because of me, myself. I believe that I can do it and I'm the best. To you also, the reader, do believe in yourself. You don't need a miracle because you yourself are magic!
Have a nice year ahead and let's work hard to make our wishes and dreams come true! Owh, one more thing, that means I'm 23 next year. Although I hate being older day by day but I love the number 23! Yes, goodbye girl, hello matured woman.

I have a wonderful 2010. How about you?
I look forward to more wonderful things in 2011!

Congrats!

2010-12-30T15:54:00.002+08:00

First of all, macam rakyat Malaysia yang lain, aku nak wish congratulations utk team bola sepak kita. Memang fantastik abis game korang! Patut la tetiba si Khairul Fahmi tu femes overnight. Dulu minat Christiano Ronaldo, tapi sekarang dah tak pandang sebab kempen beli barangan Malaysia, jadi I decide pilih Khairul Fahmi plak. (Khairul tu barang ke? Ehehe....alasan je tu). Ok2, sebelum ada orang marah, baik kita clearkan situasi ni ok? 'I' yang dimaksudkan tu bukan la saya ye, tetapi fenomena yang melanda banyak gadis2 remaja (remaja ke?) sekarang ni. Takde dah gambor Brad Pitt kat dinding, beli paper tampal muka si Khairul tu byk2. Pastu ckp kat mak, "Mak, ni gambor menantu mak!". Pastu kena pelangkung sbb gatal. Haha. Ok. Tak boleh salahkan dorang jugak. Memang si Khairul tu penyelamat team kita. So, terima je la ok. Yang lain pun hebat gak, kalau takde yang lain, tak menang la jugak kan. Pape pun, tahniah Malaysia! Good games....

Pujaan Malaya ni!
Credit

Jangan time ni je korang puji melambung2, bila kalah kutuk abis-abis. Kita kena continue support team sendiri, jangan time down, korang pun ikot downkan dorang. Jangan time ni je ngaku rakyat Malaysia. Renung-renungkan la ok? Isu Indonesia tu pulak, no comment la kan. Kadang2 memang ada orang yang obses, biasa la kan. Yang penting, tak payah la nak gaduh2, kita kan jiran. Yang penting, semangat kesukanan tu!

p/s: Khairul 21, aku 22.....patut la terasa dah tua diri ni! Byk pulak manusia yg lagi muda dari aku! Nasib la aku tak minat yang muda, kalo tak, bleh jadi pujaan hati gak ni.

Nothing

2010-12-20T15:55:00.002+08:00

The last person to hurt you apologizes, do you accept?
Yes, why not. People are not perfect, we apologizes and move on with life.

Last person you kissed calls you, what do you say?
Never been in this situation really.

Do you pass out at the sight of blood?
Nope, why should I be.

Is there anyone you couldn’t live without?
My family and friends. Typical answer. I know.

What are you planning on doing after this?
Going to the office asking for confirmation on thesis submission date. And secret recipe!

Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes. I'm young and hot-blooded you know.

Will tomorrow be better than today?
I always wish it is.

Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex?
I'm not sure if we can be consider as best friend.

What is worse, physical or emotional pain?
Emotional pain of course. You'll never know when it's gonna heal.

When’s the last time you had a real smile on your face?
Just now.

Whose car were you in last?
My housemate. I drove it to the faculty as she's not confident on driving it during rain.

How long is your hair?
Somewhere in the middle.

Last movie you watched?
Lemony Snickett Series of Unfortunate Events. So last season. I know. I'm bored.

Who were you with?
Erin, my housemate and the owner of the car.

Last thing you drank?
Plain water. Good for health.

Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Nichkhun and Taecyeon of 2PM of course! Those boys are hot!

Have you ever seen a dead body?
I can't really remember. Maybe.

How long do you think you will live?
If I know, I wouldn't be answering this.

Person you want to talk to?
My ehem.....we're history. But I've a lot to say to him.

What was the first thing you did this morning?
Take a bath.

The color of carpet in your bedroom?
Background is green with a picture of cartoon car garage.

Last person you went out to dinner with?
Eza and Mai.

Are you spoiled?
no. not really.

Do you drink lots of water?
Yup.

How do you vent your anger?
Yelling and throw stuff away. Typical movie things.

Who was the last compliment you received from?
Eza. She compliment everybody a lot.

When was the last time you threw up?
I don't remember.

What theme does your room have?
Purple. I made my mum choose it.

Are you a mama’s child or a daddy’s child?
Both. I can't really choose between them.

Would you ever join the military?
Nope. Not interested in army either.

The last website you visited?
UiTM library portal for journal I supposed to read.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
My family. On my graduation day.

Last person you went to the movies with?
Atip kot.

Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
Forward a week. I'll be home. But at that time, I wanna go back a week so I stayed with my family.

What are you looking forward to right now?
Be home!

Is it hard for you to get over someone?
Yup. I still remember every single thing about us. It's pathetic.

Do you get along with boys?
Depends on what types of boys do you means.

Do you think you’ve changed over the past year?
Maybe not. I never really thought that I could change. I'm as lazy as ever!

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough?
Never think about that one.

How late were you up last night?
1.20 am.

Do you believe in love?
Definitely.

Did you kiss or hug anyone at all today?
nope.

Song you wanna live in?
I don't know. Something with boy who loves you and have happy ending. I guess.

Mrs. Wanie? Maybe not yet....

2010-12-19T20:53:00.004+08:00

I want to get married jugak, boleh tak mak?

Haih, looking at pictures of girls my age, exactly my age get married is somewhat makes me think that I'm a spinster. Owh god! That's bad. And I'm just 22. Not 32. I'm jealous. Seriously!

I know people said that getting married is hard work. Responsibilities. Endless fighting. Cooking. Babysitting (husband, I mean....). Nagging. Mess. etc etc......but it is still a beautiful thing rite? Well, at least it is to me. This is the part where people will say "You're not married yet, so you can say that, wait till you already are and you'll see!"

I have a dream of having a family of my own and I'll be a full time housewife. I'll devoted my time for my family. Owh sweet! Maknanya, I'll find someone rich, so that I don't have to work!

What? I'm studying hard enough now just to end up being a housewife? Don't worry, it is still too early to know what will happen in the future. It's just a plan.

It's just a dream of mine. To prepare breakfast for them in the morning, sent them to school. Wait for my husband to come home. Help my kids with their school works. Tuck them in at night. And gardening together on the weekend. We'll have a nice house with a beautiful garden. That's perfect! Not to mention the fish pond. I like that too.

Told you I'm a typical girl. Outdated. So last century. Name it. It's me. And I'm happy in my world.

The girl

2010-12-19T10:57:00.002+08:00

In life, there's always times when you feel down, giving up and just don't wanna think about anything. I guess it is normal. Sometimes, I hope that people can understand me better, can read my mind and my heart so that they will not misunderstood me. Hope is such a big word for me. Since I was a little girl, hope is the burden I've been carried around with me until now. Failure is my enemy, in whatever I do, I must be among the best. It is like a repeated tape playing in my head over and over again.

But sometimes, at a time, it is just too much. If I fail, let me fail. I'll fight back. I'm not a loser. I don't give up. That's what I've been trained all this while. The only thing that can stop me moving forward is myself. It's hard to struggle with yourself everyday. It's like a fight that sometimes tired me and makes me feel that everything is just so worthless. I hope you'll understand what I feel, the burden in me, the pressure I've been holding all this while.

I'll finish what I started but please understand me. I'll decide for myself what I'll do in the future. It's time for me to take the responsibilities for what I did. Maybe I'm wrong but let me learn from my mistakes, it's a part of my journey of growing up. I might not be the best but I know that giving up is not gonna solve anything. I will not and I'll move forward.

You'll be proud, I promise you that but in the meantime let me be the 22 years old girl I always want to be. This girl of yours will not let you down. Trust me.

random

2010-12-17T13:57:00.002+08:00

Nad, curi dari blog u. Hehe...dont mind eh.

Instruction : Once you are tagged , answer all the questions honestly . No lying or cheating :D

Starting time : 13.58 pm

Name : Nur Hazwani Mohammad Azam

Brother(s) : 2 lil brothers. One in high school, another 1 in uni.

Eye colour : dark brown under d sun.

Shoe size : perlu kah? teet!

Hair : somewhere in d middle

Piercings : yes. kat telinga time kecik2 dlu.

What are you wearing right now : slack, t-shirt karate club, tudung

Where do you live : As a student: shah alam, family: alor star

Favourite number : 5, 7, and 23

Favourite drink : sky juice.

Favourite breakfast : toast and half-boiled egg.

HAVE YOU EVER :

Broken a bone : nope

Been in a police car : yup...my dad amik kat shah alam bwk blk alor star ngan kete keje dia.

Fallen for a friend : yes!

Fallen for a guy/girl in a short period of time : urm.yes!

Swam in the ocean : tak blajar g berenang

Fallen asleep in school : jarang

Broken someone's heart : yes. and i'm really sorry.

Cried when someone died : depends on who died i guess

Save e-mails : sometimes

Been cheated on : urm....yup!

WHAT :

Your room look like : umah sewa: messy ngan journal berlambak2. home sweet home: messy jgk tp i like the room color!

What is right beside you : kerusi si suraya

What is the last thing you ate : chicken koktel

WHO :

Who did you last yell at? : mai, eza n erin. sbb menang main uno!

Who was the last person you danced with? : dancing? never...

Who last made you smile : takuya kimura.

FINAL QUESTION :

What are you listening to right now? : the sound of the fan. and it's raining. it's cold.

What did you do today? : surfing, blogging, watching drama and supposedly, repair my proposal.

Are you the oldest : exactly! i always want an older brother.

Indoors or outdoors : both

TODAY YOU DID :

Talk to someone you like? : no

Kiss anyone? : in dream, yes. real life, no.

Sing? : yup. lagu korea...tp xtau la sebutannya cena.

Talk to an ex? : no

Miss someone : always

Eat? : yup. everyday pun mkn what.

LAST PERSON WHO :

You talked to on the phone? : eza

Made you cry? : takuya kimura jgk.

You went to the mall with? : eza

Who cheered you up? : myself. i'm highly motivated.

HAVE YOU :

Been to Mexico? : no

Been to USA? : no

RANDOM :

Have a crush on someone : used to. but we're history.

What books are you reading right now? : categorical data analysis by alan agresti. buku statistik dowh! pening...

Best feeling in the world : out with him!

Future kids name? : girl : dah tak igt. mybe. alya or hani. ntah.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? : you mean bubub and bear? yes. normally when i wake up, dorang dh jauh kna tendang.

What's under your bed? : i tdor atas lantai je.

Favourite sport(s) : karate? ohoo....rony!

Favourite place : home sweet home. and korea!

Who do you really hate? : someone. cant mention any names here.

Do you have a job? : if u consider being student is a work, then yes, i have a job.

What time is it now? : 2.15 pm

My notes of the day

2010-12-15T22:13:00.002+08:00

Notes for the day:

1- Lecturers are exactly like us when they present their work, they have blank mind sometimes even the one with PhD and years of experience! That's normal...=))

2- Students under the same particular lecturer, does present the same exact ways everytime. It's like watching the same advertisement over and over again. The bored one to be precise, is it a norm or skill that they have?!!

3- I always have a thing for tall and fair guys. They sometimes tend to look a lil bit girlish but who cares! They're super cute and good looking especially the ones with spectacles and highly educated. The way they talk and the overflowing charisma is just so tempting! I got my eyes on someone..wink2~~

4- I guess that there's no way escape once you're in the academic area, research is just simply your best friend whether you like it or not. Yes, I love research!

5- It's easy to pay attention when there's a good looking guy explaining things and it makes you feel motivated also!

Ah, I'm just a typical girl anyway. I love things people normally love, nothing much. Maybe the only thing different is, I like lemon! No sugar please....ok, that's a crap.

stalking!

2010-12-12T21:47:00.004+08:00

Nanad is crazy with Ashraf Muslim!

Who doesn't?

I believe he will like your cupcakes

And skittles too!

I'm over excited plak...

Me? I like.....hmmmm

Mr. A was there, maybe I'll be waiting for Mr. B?

Or perhaps not, let's go with Mr. H instead

We have the same initial!

Yeah right Wanie...=P

You're my lucky number 23!

2010-12-12T10:15:00.003+08:00

Sometimes it just amazing when you met someone with much similarities with you

When it is a super good looking guy

You will start to think....

Maybe we are fated to be together

Hahaha!! Nope!!

It just a coincidence

Things like that happens in life you know

Just something that makes you smile for a day!

Suddenly, I love number 23 bleh?

Biology...genetic huh?

2010-12-08T23:46:00.002+08:00

Come to think of it, I guess no matter how I think I hate study, doing research, reading journal, going to conference, that's what I'll end up doing for the rest of my life. I guess we never really know what's best for us, well it is for me. Seriously, I don't think I'll be going out from academic field no matter what. Unless I decided to be a full time housewife, which maybe I'll consider when I be a millionaire cause I don't wanna have a hard life if, I said if, doesn't mean I want it to happen which is divorce.

I guess I want to keep studying, maybe on different field. Biology and chemistry used to be my passion but since I'm no longer in a science stream, it just been forgotten. Maybe I can take up a degree on new course, biology or chemistry. Back on my first dream on becoming on....on...on what? I can't really remember but it has something to do with science. Maybe genetics, DNA is what I first read when I'm a little girl and even though I can't really understand it but I like it. Who knows what will happen in the future right? Who says that you can only stay in one stream, I'm maybe done my masters in agriculture marketing and economics but I know I can do well in biology as well. I should do it, right? Learning doesn't have limit, as long as you want to do it, you can.

Maybe there will be times when I find it hard but I don't think I regret it. I won't think about it anymore. Cause if I do, maybe I'll take it back. So just do it Wanie! Tapi wait another one and a half year, finish what you started first!

Never ever underestimate the power of your brain, we never used more than 2% of it anyways. Surely this brain of mine can do something spectacular! Ok, at least out of ordinary pun dah kira bagus. Haha....!

P/S: I got a new title for the research and I guess I can make it this time! Positively sure! My brain said so.

Superwoman vs Wonderwoman

2010-12-06T17:57:00.004+08:00

Macam mana agaknya orang perempuan yang dah kawen, ada anak, sambil tu belajar wat Master and PhD? Banyak jugak yang aku dengar, boleh abis on time, cemerlang gemilang terbilang la pendek kata. Padahal ibarat kata member aku, memang rasa tak cukup je 24 jam ni! Tapi memang aku tabik la pada isteri2 dan ibu2 ni, memang superwoman! Lelaki sekalian, tolong ambik perhatian k.....kalo lelaki lain sikit kot, yelah, anak2 kecik bini yang handle, keje umah pun selalunya bini gak yang buat, mak mertua takde byk demand sgt kalo ngan menantu lelaki ni, so kalo belajar pun maybe tak sesusah yang perempuan kot....(kot la, aku pun xsure sgt).

kredit

Teringin nak tau sebenarnya cena dorang manage semua tu. Yang aku penah dengar citer, time siang bila anak2 dah bangun mmg tak boleh pegang thesis langsung, memang jadi fulltime housewife siapkan anak2, nak kemas umah, masak, bila malam semua dah tidor baru la boleh wat keje. Memang restricted la compare ngan kami2 ni yang ehem2, single. Agaknya bila dah jadi isteri and ibu je kot baru paham macam mana. Tapi utk my mother pun, even tak sambung belajar, tapi you still a superwoman! Love ya!!

So to all single ladies out there, not Mrs. yet and you're continuing your study, think bout it. Maybe we should get married first! Joking......manage your time properly people. 24 hours a day is not enough is not an acceptable excuse! Single ladies are more like wonder woman dari superwoman sebab asyik wondering....me, at least. Or maybe we should go with wonder girls?!!

Patut la research tak jalan, asyik duk nobody je! Patutnya nak jadi somebody....ceh!

It's my day!

2010-12-03T11:24:00.006+08:00

Convocation is over. Dah abis benda yang ditunggu selama ni. For that few seconds on the stage, your moment where people look at you and you're officially graduates, it takes years of hard work. I hope my lil sis and bro learn a lot and take it as a motivator for them. I want to go to your convo too k!

Things get a lil bit chaotic that time. Imagine la when you have 1181 graduates at the same time, times ngan berapa org family member yang datang, plus hujan lebat, so yeah, I guess you guys get the picture. Sadly my bestie Sarah is not with me but it's ok, finally we still grad at the same time even not at the same place. To meet my former classmates especially ex-housemate where I spent 2 years of my degree years with them, we study together, we laugh and shed tears together and finally we make it. My success is not only my effort but them too. It's a gift not only for me but to you guys too! Thanx a lot!

To my parents for believing in me all dis moments. For all the times, money and pray from you guys to me. This is what I can give to you. The best present I could ever think of. Mum, dad....I love you guys so much, and this is for you.

UiTM, Universiti Teknologi Mara, ITM, whatever you wanna call it, I'm proud to be one of the alumni. Thank you so much to all my dear lecturers and my beloved university. The best in my heart indeed! UiTM dihatiku!!!

Convo?

2010-11-26T22:14:00.002+08:00

Convocation is just around d corner! I can't believe it...at last after 3 tahun pya hard work (not really la), it comes to the day dat I dream of since in first semester lagi. Tapi ramai jugak member2 yang cakap, aku malas la nak g konvo, malas la itu, malas la ni...why? Kenapa tak nak? Kenapa malas? After all dis year study, at last receive jugak official scroll, at last dah ade degree. Cheer up guys! Agaknye aku je kot yang terlebih excited.

Malas nak tulis panjang2...blank idea tak tau nak tulis ape tapi excited nak jumpa mmber2 coursemate lama, bergosip2 mcm dulu.

Move on, it's your life Wanie.....

2010-11-15T00:27:00.003+08:00

Then he's not worth it....

That's what my bestie tell me just now. I don't know, I just can't think bout it anymore. He's not the one to be blame. It's me, I guess I made him look like a bad guy. And he's not. He never done anything wrong to me. It's me who keeps fooling around and end up hurting myself like a stupid person.

He's someone in my life
He's someone in my heart
I guess that someone should be let go
Because he used to be someone to me
It's time for me to move on for that someone

I wish you all the best in your life. I'm sorry I don't want to try to forget you and cherish you in my heart always because that's the only way I can smile with the thought, "I love this guy for real and he's happy now so I should move on with my life now".

me.you.us

2010-11-10T11:20:00.003+08:00

Time stops when I meet you. I want to believe it is a miracle. I miss you so much, seeing you makes my heart beats faster, everything else just doesn't matter anymore. Until now, I asked myself. Everything happen for a reason, and what is the reason for this? 4 years ago, I thought fate makes me choose you. I fall for you. Things happen. And after 2 years since the last time we saw and contact each other, I met you again. The same face, the very same person who teach me...

This is love.

I do believe in miracle!

2010-11-10T00:40:00.004+08:00

Coincidence? Miracle? Fate? I believe in all of that. Meeting you tonight, I was struck. Never imagine that. My heart stop for a moment, I'm shaking, I'm dead nervous and I can't breathe. Why must I met you? It will only bring more pain to me and you, no....I don't know what you're thinking, I don't know what you feel. It suffocates me.

I don't want to see you

Not because I hate you

Not because I want to erase you

I'm scared that I miss you even more

I'm scared that I love you even more

I'm scared of everything

And tonight, of all the night, I've been waiting when it will happen. And seeing you, I'm speechless. You were there, looking as good as ever and I'm here still the same person.

And tonight I'm sure and when people asked me

Do you really love him?

I know the answer to it

Yes, I do.

And I miss you now.

Can't you just be a miracle and come back? I need you now.

I hate the pathetic me who always look back in my memories.

Nothing in particular

2010-11-06T23:12:00.003+08:00

I envied football player

They get paid for playing around

And a lot too!

Can I do something like that?

Nah!

I'm born to study till the end~

And that is the best!

Hmm.....

2010-11-04T00:29:00.002+08:00

Kadang2 pelik jgk, terasa nak tau sapa la sebenarnya yang baca ape benda merapu yang aku tulis kat sini. Teringin jugak nak tau even takde banyak mana pun, 2 3 orang je. Selain member yang mmg tau aku ada blog, sapa lagi yang baca? Dia ke? Awak ke?

Apa agaknya orang fikir? Teringin gak nak tau tapi bila dipikir balik, better tak payah tau la kan. Everyone has their own opinion and thought. And as for me, apa yang aku tulis, cuma apa yang terlintas waktu tu, apa yang aku rasa.

Entah la apa aku merapu malam2 ni. Mata pun dah ngantuk, dah berat, esok banyak plak aktiviti kat Intekma tu, so tdor r. Owh elaun, cepat la masuk k, dah kering sangat ni. Daa~

p/s: Aku benci Tonton.com.my, cara baru tgk tv pala lutut! Lembap dowh. TV3...seriously?

And it's you again

2010-11-02T17:48:00.003+08:00

There's something I always wanted to ask you but I'm scared, I don't wanna hear you saying what I don't wanna hear. How pathetic I am. It's been 2 years since I tried my very best to erase you, trying to divert myself, but now I know you're always there, inside of me. Deep down, maybe in my unconscious part of brain, I never forget you. It hurts, do you even know that? So hurt that I can't even cry it out, it breaks my heart everytime.

In my dreams, I asked you...what actually happen between us? And you answered back just by saying, "Do I know you?"

Why?

And yes, I guess now I can't lie to myself. I still love you, just the same as 4 years ago. When I was 18, I found you, my first love. I guess until now, it never changed, not even a bit cause it hurts the same.

And it's you.....MY3108

And I'm sorry that I love you. I wish it is a lie.

New wishlist

2010-09-19T01:03:00.003+08:00

Salam and hi.

Writing from Shah Alam...hmmm, after 6hoursof long drive from Alor Star, trus g ngajar tuisyen kat USJ. Balik dalam pukul 6setengah, singgah umah my cousin, antar ikan pekasam yg my aunt order kat my mum. Dia ajak g Damansara esok g birthday celebration of my cousin's son plus my other cousin. Ok je, makan free. Pastu trus g SACC g mkn kat my fave place, order the same menu. Went to Watson's bought some really need emergency things, g MPH bought CLEO just to flip through and CD store to fing my fave Japanese drama tapi xde. Satu lg, g Secret Recipe and got Chocolote Indulgence and Marble Cheesecake, syg my fave New York Cheesecake dah abis. Tiring? Nah....not really.

Just flip through CLEO td and surf the net and I decide I want this:

The price is under 100k, with all the package it offer, it worth it!

The bottle is so perfect! I love floral~

Is it really bad that I love pink? Gosh!

The later 2 tu boleh la beli dalam masa terdekat ni pas dapat elaun, tapi yang first tu rasanya nak kena keje bapa lama baru leh beli. Takpe2, keje 2 bln je dah boleh wat loan pe, boleh la tu. Dream keeps us motivated, yeah! And yes, I have a plan to change my life, and I hope it works. Plan pe? Nnt la I story, pas dah berjaya nnt k, kalo x....phm2 je la ye.

Dah ckup mengarut. Off to bed. Bye!

Raya time!

2010-09-11T22:03:00.002+08:00

Selamat hari raya! It's not too late g kan nak wish raya...Nway, I'm still at Ipoh, celebrating raya ngan family belah my father, ramai giler, maklumlah orang adik beradik ramai, and my dad plak yang bongsu so ramai la sepupu sepapat, anak2 buah yang dah lost count bape org. Kalo skip setahun, mau tak igt dorang sume ni, ye lah, dah tiap2 tahun bertambah je anak sedaranya...hehe.

Mmg fevret aku le kalo blk Ipoh ni, makan giler sedap2, asal datang umah sape2 je kompem balik kenyang. Duit raya pun byk sbb kitorang ni antara cousin yang plg muda so yang dah berkerjaya tu lagi ramai la tapi sedihnya dis year, duit raya aku mmg byk dah kena potong. Dah semua bising kat aku, "Kamu ni bilanya nak abih blajor? Tak boleh nak potong nama lg dari list neh, asyik bersambung2 je blajor, bila aku nak merasa duit raya kamu plak?" Haha!

Hoho..pakcik2 dan makcik2 ku sayang, udoh teman ni mmg suke bebenor blajor, xsanggup rasanya nak berenti. Ceh! Sebenornya muda lagi, baru 22, dah nak merasa gaji plg cket pun belas2 ribu, bior ler teman ni belajor tinggi2 dlu, ha lpas ni blajor sampai dapat doktor ler gayanya, professor ler katakan. Hahaha....tinggi benor citer2nye. Nnt I dah gaji belas2 ribu, aku bagi duit raya tiap2 bulan...ha, amacam? Mmg pemurah btol aku ni...kih3.....doa2 la ye~~

K la, penat meraban mlm2 ni, ckup ler tu. Nnt plak ye.....presentation proposal 23hb ni, fuhh!!!! Jampi2 la moga panel2 tu tak suh aku present blk, luluskan ler tajuk mike ni ye...

God did not create universe! It exist spontaneously!

2010-09-03T08:33:00.003+08:00

God did not create universe! Because there is a law such as gravity, the universe can and will create itself from nothing. Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist," Stephen Hawking.

Kenal sape mamat si Stephen Hawking ni? Aku rasa ramai yg kenal, kalo tak kenal pun penah la dengar nama dia. Statement terbaru dalam buku dia yang kuar xlama lagi. Bijak dia ni tapi sayangnya tak nampak keagungan Tuhan yang ada dalam setiap kejadian. Agaknya dia ni suka main magic kot. Universe yang besar gedabak ni jadi secara spontan? Sapa plak yang jadikan graviti? Jadi secara spontan gak kot. Pergh! Aku pun bleh takat nak wat statement camtu. Semua yang dalam dunia ni jadi secara spontan. Magic! Tetiba bleh jadi. Sedangkan dalam Al-Quran tu dah tertulis setiap benda, setiap kejadian yang Allah ciptakan tu ada sebabnya. Hanya Allah yang boleh jadikan semua ni. Tapi sayang, ramai yang tak nampak, tak sedar even bijak pandai.

Mungkin aku bukan orang yang layak nak cerita pasal semua ni, aku pun tak sempurna, kadang2 tau bnda tu salah tapi buat jugak, tapi harap2nya aku berdoa selalu jangan aku jadi camni. Tak percaya kewujudan Tuhan, kebesaranNya......

Ya Allah, ya Tuhanku, sesungguhnya hanya Kau satu2nya Maha Pencipta. Hanya Kau yang berhak menciptakan dan memusnahkan sesuatu dan hanya padaMu aku berserah. Amin.

Merdeka!

2010-08-31T11:55:00.004+08:00

Salam and hi.

Since hari ni merdeka, so every post yang aku tgk pun pasal merdeka. Nak wish jugak la, Happy 53rd Independence Day to our beloved Malaysia! Hopefully we will have a prosperous years ahead!!!

To my friends who celebrated their birthday today, Happy birthday guys! And yes, happy birthday to you too mr. past memories who I try so very hard to let go, have a wonderful years always and just be happy.

Happy merdeka to my thought of you....I'm more than happy now. Thanx.

Alone

2010-08-29T17:56:00.003+08:00

Not planning to go back
Sick and tired of everything
and I stood there emotionless
Because I'm sick of myself
Pretending like I'm ok
Still smiling, faking it
I want to be with myself alone
where I don't have to face anything
I don't wanna hurt
and be hurt
So, just let me be
You'll never understand what I felt
but since I'm a friend
Let me swallow it and forget everything
And go back
That's what friend for
To accept all the bitterness of friendship
And forget about it
Only keep the happy moments
I'll do that
In a moment
Coz I need to find that friend-self in me

Sweet 17 dear sister!

2010-08-29T14:12:00.006+08:00

Selamat hari lahir ke-17! Tak sangka pejam celik dah 17 dah adik aku yang sorang ni. Dah besar panjang, anak dara ni tapi aku tak penah rasa dia cam 17 tahun, mungkin sebab perangai terikut2 yang bongsu tu. Tulis kat cni pun bukannya dia boleh baca, tapi takpe la, sekadar mengingati pe yang perlu. Akak selalu doakan yang terbaik utk korang semua, moga2 jadi anak yang berguna la k! And wat yang terbaik utk SPM nnt. Hadiah? Hmmm.....tgk la cena...=))

Birthday girl in pink

And once again, I'm here alone at my beloved ex-faculty, continue to force and striving to finish my proposal not to mention to make it as best as I can in this short time. Kenapa alone? Itu lebih baik bila perlu ilham utk menulis. Tulis proposal pun kena ada ilham, baru flow ayat tu power. Hehe!

Sometimes, I prefer to be alone even though I'm not a lone ranger type of person. I love when there's many people with me, hate it when I'm being left alone but lately, I find my peace when I'm alone. Doing my things on my own. It is quite enjoyable I must say. Truth is, I'm not ok. My peace is not at home, but tense are. So, to stop the tense from annoys me, I decided to go out, far from everything.

There's only me, my song and my never ending proposal writing. This is my life.

giving up? I don't think so...

2010-08-27T16:26:00.004+08:00

Hi and salam.

Sitting here alone in my beloved ex-faculty (since I've changed my faculty recently) with the coldness from the rain just now, it's relaxing. Suddenly, my mind become clearer and all the problems that haunt me lately seems to have an answer after all. Just a little push to boost up my spirit and I know I can do it, I always do.

I'm someone who work better in tense since that it push me forward and forcing my brain to find a solution, a good one of course. Now, I have tonnes of reading, highlighting and critical thinking to do but I don't feel like I'm in mess and I have a good feeling that I can finish it on time and satisfy my supervisor with it. This is good, at least I can write my best and prepare myself for the defense of proposal after Raya.

Now, I'm full of spirit and positive thinking. That's how everything works out for me! And giving up is a big no for me.

give up or give it all?

2010-08-25T11:04:00.004+08:00

Salam.

Terasa malas nak melangkah ke mana-mana, malas nak berjumpa dengan orang yang sepatutnya tapi perlu, dan sangat2 penting, jadi terpaksa memaksakan diri melangkah pergi. Haih. Penat memikirkan bnda yang sama setiap hari. Macam mana nak jadikan idup student ni gembira? Seems impossible sekarang.

Give up? Dah terlalu banyak kali aku fikirkan bnda yang sama. Dan terlampau tepu otak aku dengan perkataan dan niat utk mengalah. Tapi, tak pernah berani untuk mengalah, sebabnya? First, sekali aku dah melangkah, ini mmg takdir aku, teruskan walau macam mana susah sekalipun. Kedua, memikirkan orang tua di rumah, terbatal niat untuk mengalah, dan terus menggagahkan diri.

Apa erti gembira sebenarnya? Persepsi aku tentang gembira sangat melalaikan sebenarnya. Bersantai2 setiap hari, bangun lambat, bangun dengan senyuman sebab takde yg perlu difikirkan, tgk cerita, tgk wayang, pergi karoke, pendek kata, bersenang lenang la. Huh. Memang la susah cmtu. Hidup, biar apa pun yang aku buat sekarang, semuanya ada tanggungjawab, peranan yg perlu dimainkan dengan jayanya. Peranan aku sebagai pelajar, menyiapkan apa yang perlu, melalui apa yang harus dan wajib....akhirnya, kejayaan itu bukan milik orang lain, tapi diri sendiri jugak.

Kenapa ayat aku jadi camni? Entah.....malas nak fikirkan jawapannya. Dan sekarang, meja ni penuh dengan jurnal2 yang belum betul2 difahami. Mengeluh lagi. Dari mengeluh, baik start reading and finish it by the time given. But I'm sleepy.

Argh!!!!!!

2010-08-24T09:22:00.002+08:00

Penyakit malas dah menjelma balik, ntah la, malas rasanya nak membaca research2 yang banyak ni. When time like this come, I started to doubt my decision bout continue my study. Haih! Apasal la malas sgt ni Wanie! Pick yourself up and just do what you need to do. I have to, really really have to do this. Kalo tak, xberaya la aku tahun ni. Tak abih2 cita isu yang sama kat sini, tak tau la bila masanya rajin tu nak datang and stay lama. Penat!

Plan esok....meet up with the supervisor, pastu sambung tgk You're Beautiful, hehe~ Update terbaru, baru baca emel tadi yg kena antar proposal for defense nnt by 1st September. Mati la aku! Cena neh? Mna da idea nak wat questionnaire, cena nak antar. Adeh! Pening plus sakit pala!

Prof, cena ni?!!! OMG......I'll be extremely busy until 1st September.

Thank you for being you

2010-08-23T06:40:00.002+08:00

I didn’t know I was going to tell you like this
No words were enough
I couldn’t say anything
I was so thankful
I didn’t know what to do

Why do you like me
Why do you choose me among so many people
What I could do for you is so lacking
So I made this song for you

So I thank you
and I love you

I wasn’t able to do anything for you,
But you just keep on giving without stopping
Because of the love you gave me,
I’m standing here like this

I know how difficult it is
to live while loving me

But you keep standing in that place
without any change
Just for me

Why don’t you turn around
It must be so tiring for you, why do keep loving me
I didn’t know how to repay you again
So I made this song

That heart of yours,
The tears you cried,
All that, I won’t forget it.

So I thank you
And I love you

Did I ever regret loving you and do all the things I did only for you? There's no way I will feel that. To see you there standing so happily, that made my day and nothing, until the end that I would ever stop loving you and only you, the one I chose among so many people. And I love you too!

Wish list!

2010-08-22T14:28:00.004+08:00

Kadang2 aku rasa lawak pun ada bila teringat pasal diri sendiri. Aku rasa aku ni pelik, pelik ke? Ntah, maybe la kot. Artis kegilaan sekarang..nak tgk?

Penghargaan

Ha, ni la buah hati pengarang jantung aku sekarang, 2PM! Kompem2 la artis korea kan cik kak. Mesti org kata, ala perempuan, pantang nampak artis2 korea hensem cket, suma nak minat. Ai, suka ati la, yang ko nak sibok2 pehal plak, tak minat sudah! Minat sbb pa? Mula2 mmg terberkenan kat artis dia la kan, standard r tu, pastu baru dgr lagu, bleh tahan, aku suka! Tapi dalam byk2 artis korea lelaki, tak kira la solo ka band ka, aku leh minat sgt2 yg ni ngan FT Island je (bukan pulau faizal tahir ye nini). Y? Ntah, even ada lagi byk group2 korea yg artis dia lagi hensem and comei tapi takde chemistry ngan group len cam yang ni. Cewah! Poyo je aku ni cakap.....~

*penghargaan* taecyeon

So, aku dah berangan2 sejak dgr cerita maybe dorang nak dtg Msia next year, yang aku nak g tgk konsert dorang walau berapa pun harga tiket tu nnt. Nak bagi present ape ek? Nnt kalo ada autographed session nak sain cd yg mna satu? Nak ckp pe bila jmpa? Angan2 tol Wanie! Nama pun fans kan.....janji aku bahagia ngan dorang and tak kaco org lain, ye x?

*penghargaan* nichkhun

Yang lawaknya, aku pya genre favourite lagu mmg sgt2 la universal. Dari artis jiwang karat tahap dewa mmg meleleh pya sampai la tahap hardcore metal pya lagu pun aku layan. Aku pelik gak tgk aku ni. Cakap je lagu ape, penyanyi mana, melayu, cina, korea, jepun, omputih, hindustan, sepanyol, suma aku bedal ja janji aku suka. Cam lawak ja bila teringat yg aku suka lagu2 Avenged Sevenfold, tapi bleh g nak nyanyi hindustan. Haha, lawak tol aku neh! Cakap je ape, kuch kuch hota hai, mohabbatein, dilwale dulhania le jayenge, suma cek layan ja. Bak kata ayah aku, aku ni pendengar universal!

p/s: dah dapat idea nak bg present apa kat khun ngan taec ni nnt....hehe~

Heaven!

2010-08-21T14:32:00.002+08:00

Owh heaven gila duk kat umah ni! tiap2 ari leh bangun lambat, tak payah nak pkir nak kena wat keje, nak kena g keje, nak bukak posa makan ape, hoho...tapi kena gak blk shah alam, kampung kedua aku tu. Dah rehat sedap2, tiba masa nak kena balik wat keja cam besa.

Well, tak leh nak watpe la kan, byk keje menanti, defense of proposal plak pas raya, cena nak bagi setel pun tak tau la. Juz wait and see la kan. Hopefully everything ok! Rindu plak budak2 kat tuisyen tu, xpe2 esok kita jumpa ye wahai semua bdk2 kesayangan aku! Hehe! Hairi? Nizam? Haha....tak rindu langsung pun..~

Duk umah, heaven! Takde bnda nak citer....daa~

salam perkenalan to my new friend~

2010-08-13T08:30:00.003+08:00

Hari ketiga berpuasa....seems ok, everything is on the track, nothing much, nothing extraordinary, just me and my study, my life and my part time work. I love my life now even more. Reading someone's journey in life makes me feel that I didn't thank enough in life, I didn't appreciate enough and didn't love enough. I have the best in everything. So what if you don't have a chance to study abroad? So what if you never been offered to medic? That problem is really nothing compared to this girl.

Aku bukan nak simpati dengan dia cuma aku rasa there's a lot I can learn from her. We're the same age but we're different. The way she views life, her life full of sadness, tears but she found her strength somehow. Sincerely, I hope I can be someone who can help her, to at least if I can't do anything, I can listen, hear what she wants to say, being a friend. Maybe I knew her from cyberspace, I barely knew her but I feel that we can be friend.

To mum and dad, I love you guys so much! Even though you guys always quarrel on the even simplest thing, nonsense things but you guys love each other so much and thank you for doing everything for us. To my brothers and sisters, I love you guys too.

Wanie, keep working hard!

Ramadhan datang lagi!

2010-08-11T08:49:00.002+08:00

Dah lama tak update blog ni, rasanya cam byk je cerita nak bgtau tapi xpe la. Ni dah 1 Ramadhan, jadi kena buang benda2 tak elok tu. Kalo tak boleh buang tu ssh la kan, sbb bln ni semua syaitan2 dah kena ikat, jadi kalo jahat jugak tu mmg berjaya la syaitan tu train kita selama ni ye. Renung2kan dan selamat beramal!

Hehe...ok first story, housemate aku merangkap salah sorang bestie aku, dah blk kampung mlm tadi. Posa kat umah...waa! Aku pun nak blk kedah jugak! Tapi takpe, turn aku sampai tak lama lagi. Minggu dpn, the whole week aku cuti bersama keluarga. Sedih dowh, dah la kat umah sewa shah alam ni roomate ramai yang blk, yg ada pun non-Muslim. Tapi takpe, org kata dugaan semua tu. So ari ni, bkk posa pun aku tak terasa nak pergi bazar ramadan, nak masak pun mls, jwbnya bkk ngan megi je la ye Wanie.

Arini cuti. Tak keje kat kedai fotostat, dh gtau ngan bos tapi kena duk library sampai petang sbb nak repair proposal yang prof baru tanda aritu. Kalo tak amik cuti, mmg tak jalan la proposal tu, kompem! Tetiba aku rasa diri ni berwibawa la plak, ye lah, tiap2 ari kul 8 je dah ade kat fakulti ni. Tiap2 ari k, bukan satu dua ari je! Dulu time degree pun xde camni. Hahaha....poyo tul aku ni. Sebenarnya sbb nak cari parking, xnk jalan jauh2, sbb tu kna bgn awal. Bulan posa ni lagi senang la gamaknya.

Akhirnya, professor oversea pakar branding tu reply gak emel aku, siap attachkan dia pya research journal yang aku mintak tu. Thanx ye prof byk2, nnt dtg M'sia saya belanja nasi lemak. Hehe...makan ke?

K la, penat dah aku menaip kat blog ni. Nak baca paper plak, update general knowledge la katakan..hehe....

Daa~~

Happy Birthday sis!

2010-08-05T23:29:00.004+08:00

Happy birthday to my dearest little sister, ari 5hb, genap la 11 tahun kan dik....being the youngest in the family, jadi perangai tu kdg2 mengada sampai over the top la jgk. Hehehe....tapi my mum said she look and behave a lot like I did, well, dat's a good news mum, u'll have another nice daughter! Haha....

K la, akak wish u a very happy birthday and miss you! Jangan wat mak tu pening pale ngan perangai ko dik, hehe.....